TO mimic a song which, somehow, has found its way into the pop charts - How bizarre. Robert Allenby will not win the Volvo Masters at Valderrama, but he will have the honour - if not the pleasure - of hitting the first shot in the mega rich end of season tournament today, be it with a putter, an iron or even a driver.

Whatever implement the Australian, who should be in a nursing home rather than standing on the first tee of a golf course, chooses to use, the lone shot will augment his bank balance compliments of the Volvo bonus pool scheme which operates for this tournament - and he can twaddle off the course leaving playing partner David Howell to his own devices.

Allenby could even hit a "fresh air" shot, the bane of any hacker's life, and still profit.

Professional golfers, particularly those in contention for six figure cheques week in, week out, don't normally earn much sympathy. Allenby's plight is different. While Colin Montgomerie will top the Order of Merit for a fourth successive year (nobody can overtake him), Allenby, currently in third place, is required by the rules of the tournament to show up and compete, even though he has missed the past four weeks of the tour due to a fractured sternum, if he is to benefit from the extra pickings on offer at the tour's finale.

It has been a harrowing month or so for the 25 year old Aussie. On the Wednesday after he won the British Masters, his wife Nadine flew home to Australia, ending their 18 month marriage. After finishing third in the Loch Lomond World Invitational a couple of weeks later, he sustained a badly bruised ankle when tripping on the way to his car.

He missed the European Open at The K Club as a consequence of the injury and, while resting at his home in London, decided a few days in the Spanish sunshine would aid his recuperation. On the Sunday morning of the European Open, he crashed his car just a couple of miles down the highway from Valderrama and fractured his sternum. The injury apparently ended his season. But not so.

The European Tour insisted Allenby would need to play in the Volvo Masters if he was to qualify for the bumper "bonus pool" money which is handed to the year's top 15 players. Rodger Davis, a previous winner of the tournament and a fellow Aussie, said yesterday: "They're saying rules are rules, but there is such a thing as discretion which a tournament director is entitled to use.

There is no way Robert should be put through all this, an exception should have been made given the circumstances."

A precedent, however, was set by the Tour in 1992 when Ian Woosnam attempted to gain exemption from the event due to a back injury. The Tour wouldn't yield, and Woosnam didn't play. The result was that Woosnam who finished 11th in the Order of Merit didn't get any "bonus pool" money.

Allenby will play, though, even if the shot is likely to be more like a circus performance than anything else. Two Australian television crews have followed him from his homeland for the occasion.

The player left Melbourne on Tuesday, flew to London and got a connecting flight to the south of Spain yesterday evening. After his one qualifying stroke. he will retire injured and await his account to be credited with the bonus money. If Italy's Costantino Rocca fails to overhaul him in third place on the Order of Merit, Allenby will collect £73,000 for his troubles.

Woosnam is not without his troubles for this year's event either. He pulled out of the pretournament Pro Am citing a recurrence of a bad back, and wore a brace during practice yesterday which, to all intents and purposes, resembled a weightlifter's belt. The Welshman is currently second in the Order of Merit, behind Montgomerie, but is determined to finish the season on a high.

With £900,000 in prizemoney and £600,000 in bonus money on offer at Valderrama, the season's top players are all competing, headed by Montgomerie. The Scot, however, questioned the scenario which will arise at 8.50 am (local time) when Allenby will tee off to start the event. "The rules say Robert must compete to benefit from the bonus money, but he is hardly competing, is he? I feel if would be better if the money was put into the prize fund."

That is the case at the US Tour equivalent, the Players' Championship. There is no bonus pool. However, the idea behind the European Tour's "bonus pool" is to ensure that all the top players turn up in Valderrama.

The course, which will host the Ryder Cup next year, is in superb condition. Yesterday, Rocca and Jonathan Lomas managed to shoot three under par 68s in the Pro Am, and the pair would gladly accept a repeat over the next four days.

Indeed, the lowest 72 holes winning aggregate was shot by Montgomerie in 1993 when he had a 10 under par 274, but winning totals have gone as high as the 276 shot by Mike Harwood in 1990. "That 17th hole still leaves me breathless," said Montgomerie. "You'd love to have a par five there every day. It is going to be a great hole for the Ryder Cup next year."

The hole presents rather more immediate problems over the next four days and, no doubt, will have a major say in the destination of a title which has been claimed by two Australians, two Germans, two Scotsmen, an Englishman and an Irishman since its inception.