All in the Game: Ten Hag’s ribbiting training sessions

QUOTE

"You could have 10 good passes but one that bounced a little and he would make a frog sound, almost like a duck's quack."
Kevin Conboy reminiscing about Erik Ten Hag's ribbiting training sessions at Utrecht.

NUMBER: 5

AC Milan, Chelsea, PSG, Bayern Munich and now Real Madrid – Carlo Ancelotti has become the first coach to win a league title in the top five European leagues.

Fancy dress Hartlepool

It’s become something of a tradition for Hartlepool United fans to attend the final away game of their season in fancy dress, and they were at it again on Saturday when 1,600 of them made their way to Scunthorpe United dressed as doctors, nurses and the like as a tribute to the NHS’s work through the pandemic.

They had to settle for seeing a draw, though, against already-relegated Scunthorpe, but in light of Hartlepool’s injury woes, it was a commendable enough result.

Two centre-back goals give Arsenal win over West Ham to stay fourth

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FA to investigate Everton’s Richarlison over flare-throwing incident

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Rematch? This auld heart would definitely not be able for it

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All-Ireland champions Tyrone stunned by Derry in Omagh

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Earlier in the week, manager Graeme Lee revealed that just 12 of his squad were able to attend training, with around 10 in the treatment room. Among those ruled out of the game were Gary Liddle (groin), Neill Byrne (hamstring), Bryn Morris (ankle), Joe White (ankle), Mark Shelton (cotton bud stuck in ear) and ….. wait, what?

“Yeah, Mark’s had a cotton bud in his ear that has gone in too far,” said Lee. “He’s gone to the hospital, sounds like the tweezers have gone in too far as well and he’s dizzy and can’t stand up.” By then? Lee felt a bit dizzy himself.

WORD OF MOUTH

"Anfield is hell. For 90 minutes, you live in hell. They never stop, they rush you all the time, they only want to score goals. They want to knock you out. They just want to kill everyone and that's it."
Spurs and Watford old boy Etienne Capoue with an upbeat message for his Villarreal team-mates ahead of their Champions League visit to Liverpool last week.

"I must say I was impressed with Leeds. I thought Johnny Giles and Billy Bremner were in midfield with all the tackles."
Jamie Carragher doffing his cap after Leeds' old-school 0-0 draw with Crystal Palace.

"It is very tough. Being there on the pitch, three or four-nil down, it's too painful for me. I feel embarrassed sometimes. I feel horrible on the pitch."
David De Gea would very much like this season to end. Pronto.

Noisy awakening for Chelsea

They had more than 70 per cent of the possession at Goodison Park on Sunday, but still Chelsea couldn’t find a way past Séamus Coleman (and co) and ended up losing 1-0. If they looked a little weary in the final third, then that might have been down to events of the night before.

”It was a bit noisy. I woke up and I was like, ’what’s going on here?’,” Chelsea’s Jorginho said before the game. What happened? A decidedly naughty group of Everton fans treated the Chelsea squad to a fireworks display outside their team hotel in the middle of the night – for a whole hour and a half.

No one, need it be said, is condoning this behaviour, but lookit, you do what you have to do when you’re fighting relegation.

MORE WORD OF MOUTH

"They are going to throw it at me and say: 'Are you going to relocate?' But it doesn't work with us, when we sign a contract we usually get sacked."
Steve Bruce explaining why he's planning on staying living in Cheshire despite telling his West Brom players they have to live within an hour of the club's training ground. Job insecurity.

"I guess they probably did try to approach him, but he's thought, 'nah, I want to win some trophies'."
Roy Keane's theory on why Antonio Rudiger might possibly have turned down a move to Manchester United.

"Matic talking about 'I'm leaving, I've had a great time… Man United will always be in my heart. Oh, and Chelsea as well, by the way. And Benfica, don't forget about them'. They all can't be in your heart."
Roy again, this time concluding that Nemanja has room in his heart for half of world football.

"How he became United coach, no one knows. Now the Austrians apparently think that he could train their national team well. It seems to me that nothing good will come of this venture."
Aside from that, former Lokomotiv Moscow president Nikolai Naumov wishes Ralf Rangnick well.