All in the game

A world cup miscellany

Doesn't ad up: Newspaper kills off Brazil before their time

COMING from the the industry, it was with a sense of "there but for the grace of God" we read about the following mishap in Brazilian publication Folha de Sao Paulo. The morning after Brazil's 3-0 win over Chile, the newspaper published an ad from a well-known supermarket chain commiserating with the national side on their unfortunate exit.

“The team exited the World Cup, but not our hearts. Thanks Brazil, we’ll see you in 2014,” it announced, putting a brave face on for a nation in mourning. Naturally, the ad was only to have run in the event of an unlikely defeat but somehow managed to make it to print, leaving the supermarket group with a healthy dollop of egg on their faces.

All told, it hasn’t been a great tournament for the advertising execs. Nike have been forced to draft in Robinho as a last-minute replacement in their campaign following the inglorious departures of Rooney, Ronaldo, Ribery, Drogba and Cannavaro.

Pringles have fared little better, with Peter Crouch (total minutes on pitch = 24) and Nicolas Anelka (sent home in disgrace) unable to stop once they popped.

EXTERMINATE

OKAY, SO we might be straying a little off topic here, but the prospect of Eric Cantona staring down the Daleks is surely worthy of mention. The former France captain, now more used to treading on boards than opponents, is being lined up to make a cameo appearance in the new series of Dr Who.Keen to avoid typecasting Cantona, the producers are hoping he'll play a French villain.

Upping the stakes: German captain Lahm not so meek

NORMALLY THE model of diplomacy, Germany captain Philipp Lahm has added to the war of words developing nicely ahead of tomorrow’s quarter-final against Argentina. There is famously no love lost between the sides, with their last World Cup meeting descending into an all-out brawl after the Germans won through on penalties. As they do. Previous encounters have been, shall we say, tasty.

With tensions already simmering under the surface, Bastian Schweinsteiger kicked things off on Wednesday with his accusation that the South Americans were “disrespectful”. Far from playing down the comments, Lahm was happy to wholeheartedly endorse them, throwing in a touch of casual racism for good measure.

“Bastian said what he said,” he said. “We know South Americans are impulsive and temperamental and cannot lose,” he said.

“We will see on Saturday how they will lose and how they will behave after a defeat.”

Fleet heat: Lampard's rosé days rile tabloids

AFTER THE initial hysteria calling for Fabio Capello’s head on a platter, without so much as the slightest hint of xenophobia, the British tabloids have spent the last couple of days hauling England’s players over the coals as they desperately look to pin the blame on someone for their abysmal World Cup performance.

Seemingly oblivious to the notion that England’s finest may not have been up to the job at hand, the baying hounds of Fleet Street are outraged, I said OUTRAGED, that some of their former idols have had the temerity to now go on holiday.

Cue full-colour splashes of Frank Lampard enjoying a sunshine break with his latest squeeze in Sardinia. Laughing and joking. The spiv. Not only that, the midfielder has been drinking rosé. Rosé? That’s not even a man’s drink for Christ’s sake!

As for Wayne Rooney, well he had the nerve to fly first class when he jetted off to Barbados with his family. The flash git. Could some of that money not have been used to improve coaching standards at grassroots level?

Given the mood of the nation, it comes as no surprise that Rooney and Steven Gerrard wasted little time in pulling out of a skills challenge in London’s O2 arena later this month.

Cesc Fabregas, David Villa, Didier Drogba and Cristiano Ronaldo had also been booked to appear at the A:3K on July 17th but the withdrawal of the English pair has led to the event’s cancellation.

“Both Steven Gerrard and Wayne Rooney have made it clear they believe it would be inappropriate for them to participate in A:3K at this time,” said the organisers. “We fully understand and respect both players’ decisions. We could have replaced them with two other players but feel the players involved are six of the best in the world – and that is what we promised we would deliver.”

SORRY, NO VEG

FORGET YOUR chicken and pasta diets. It seems the Uruguay squad has reached the latter stages of the tournament fuelled by red meat. And plenty of it. Diego Forlan, a keen tweeter, posted some holiday snaps on his account of the players preparing for tonight’s match with Ghana by enjoying a traditional asado. With enough steak sizzling away on the grill to feed a small army.

Good feud guide: No sign of Pele, Maradona burying the hatchet, except in one another

HE MAY have guided his side into the last eight of the World Cup on the back of a 100 per cent record but Diego Maradona cannot possibly be regarded as a reputable coach. Why? Well, according to Pele it’s down to his private life.

“He is not a good coach, because he had a bizarre lifestyle which cannot go down well with his team,” Pele said in the latest attack on the Argentina coach.

Pele rekindled the pair’s long-running feud last month when he claimed Maradona only took the manager’s job because he needed the readies. Maradona, no shrinking violet himself, not least when it comes to Pele, hit back, telling the Brazilian to “go back to the museum”.

The pair have enjoyed a fractious relationship over the years, with neither wasting the opportunity to cut the other down to size. Pele’s appearance on Diego’s chatshow in 2005 appeared to have improved matters but the wounds have reopened again in recent months.

Pele v Diego – The Best Bits

Pele on Diego

“I don’t know why he speaks about me so much, he must be in love with me.”

Diego on Pele

“What do you want me to say? He lost his virginity to a man.”

Pele on Diego

“Maradona was a great player but he couldn’t kick with his right foot, he couldn’t head the ball. He wasn’t complete.”

Diego on Pele

“The people voted for me (for Fifa’s Player of the Century). Now they want me to share the prize with Pele. I’m not going to share the prize with anybody.”

Pele on Diego

“My main doubt is whether he has the sufficient greatness as a person to justify being honoured by a worldwide audience.”

Diego on Pele

“They are judging me for the 12 years I played in Europe, something Pele did not do. Let’s be serious: don’t compare me with him any more.”

WORLD CUP MASCOTS NO 9: SOUTH AFRICA 2010

Zakumi’s name derives from ZA for South Africa and “kumi” meaning 10. According to Fifa, he’s the first on, and last off the dancefloor. And here we were thinking he was inanimate.

Still optimistic: chairman believes figures will add up

DESPITE VAST swathes of empty seats in a number of matches (Switzerland v Honduras, anyone? Anyone??), organisers are bullish that attendances in South Africa will be highest since the USA in 1994. A matter of days after Fifa figures revealed attendances running at an average of just 47,600 per match, the organisers said they expect the numbers to swell between now and July 11th.

“We are now playing in the biggest stadiums in Cape Town, Durban and Soccer City and those have huge capacities,” Danny Jordaan, chairman of the organising committee said. “If we do, South Africa can have the highest attendance since the World Cup in the United States in 1994.”

USA ’94 attracted a record high of 3.59 million, followed by Germany in 2006 with 3.36 million.