GOLF MASTERS: It was a simple enough question: did the Golf Masters exist when Barry Lane last won on the European Tour (1994)? But it led to a mass outbreak of head-scratching, before it all turned ugly.

"All I know is that you had hair when we started," one team member was told, and his response had colleagues ducking for cover: "And you only had one chin."

Cripes, we were sorry we asked. All we wanted to know was: how old are we?

When the dust settled and the birth certificate was located at the back of the drawer, it emerged that we will be 10 next year.

Hard to credit. Some said we wouldn't age well, and when you look at the GM team you have to conclude: they were right.

Anyway, we asked the question simply so that we could say that the unluckiest manager in our nine-year history must surely be: Alan O'Shea of Avoca.

Last week Alan was the only manager in the entire competition to sack Barry Lane on the eve of the British Masters. "I just figured he wasn't going to do anything," he said, which, considering Lane hadn't won any of his last 252 European Tour events, was a reasonable enough assumption.

One of the players Alan brought in to his team was Fredrik Jacobson, who was in the field for the Wachovia Championship. Round one: Jacobson fired a 66, leaving him just two shots off the lead. Who needs Barry Lane? Well, Alan needed Barry Lane, as it turned out.

Jacobson's wife, not due for another three weeks, went into labour, so . . . her husband withdrew from the tournament on the Friday.

The least the couple can do is name their child Alan, or Avoca if it's a girl. A polo shirt to you Alan, the unluckiest manager in Golf Masters' history. How long is that? Don't start, baldy.