Miriam Lord’s week: Bertie Ahern is happy, he enjoys the attention. He misses it

“Ah, good to see yis all!”

Bertie Ahern was in flying form on Wednesday night when he tootled across (his secretary was doing the actual driving) to Thomas Prior House in Ballsbridge to delight a few hundred happy Dublin 4 Fianna Fáilers with his views on the peace process.

It was like the good old days, with a huddle of revved-up reporters waiting to doorstep him on his way in and his path lit by camera-light.

And Bertie was happy. He likes the attention. He misses it.

Stardust verdicts: Families cried. Jurors cried. Lawyers cried.

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Miriam Lord: Mary Lou – yes, Mary Lou – accuses Taoiseach of ‘playing to the gallery’

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It’s Fianna Fáil’s ardfheis, but everyone wants to play Simon Says

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Now, he is nothing more than a humble “ordinary member of the O’Donovan Rossa Cumann” who laughs off the absurd idea that he might be thinking of a tilt at the presidency, but never quite says he wouldn’t be partial to a stint in the Phoenix Park.

Because he would.

Move into the Áras after Michael D in 2025?

“Honestly and with the greatest of respect, it’s too far away.”

Sure the Phoenix Park is only up the road from Drumcondra.

[ Is Bertie Ahern eyeing the presidency? ]

[ Ahern has ‘no intention’ of returning to ‘old job’ as he rejoins Fianna Fáil ]

[ Drumcondra deeply divided over Bertie Ahern’s Fianna Fáil return ]

He wants back into Fianna Fáil, and Fianna Fáil wants him back. Wasps and all, as the Bert might say. He has earned rightful respect for his work on the Northern Ireland peace process and he would make a fine centrepiece for the party’s role in events marking the 25th anniversary of the Belfast Agreement.

The news that the former taoiseach has rejoined Fianna Fáil after quitting it 11 years ago before he was pushed by Micheál Martin greatly enlivened the political week.

Luckily for Micheál he was away when the news broke, although he has since been gracious in his view that Bertie has more than done his time and now deserves to be recognised for his “outstanding contribution to peace on the island of Ireland”.

The entire party, if reports are to be believe, was en fête. They were only short of hanging out the bunting at the Fianna Fáil party rooms at the weekly parliamentary party meeting, although the attendance on Wednesday night never went above 14 people, hovering under the dozen mark for most of the time.

No. Not even thinking about the presidency. Although he is very much in demand, if he says so himself

“It would be great to have him in the fold again with all the Good Friday Agreement stuff coming up,” said one of the many FFers who didn’t want to go on the record about the return of the Prodigal Bertie. And nobody wanted to mention the unpleasantness either.

No point in opening that old can of germs, as Bertie might say.

“I joined the party before Christmas following the discussions that took place at the parliamentary party where there was widespread support for me joining again as a member,” said the man himself, before making his triumphant re-entry into the national political atmosphere as a guest speaker at an event arranged by Dublin Bay South’s Jim O’Callaghan.

No. Not even thinking about the presidency. Although he is very much in demand, if he says so himself.

“I was in Brussels yesterday, I was up North today. I think I’m in Dún Laoghaire next week, I’m in Monaghan, I’m in an Ibec function, I’m up North again...”

Oh, up and down the country. Conferences on both sides of the Border. Actively engaged.

He’s been booked to address a meeting of the Fianna Fáil Comhairle Dáil Ceantair in Dún Laoghaire on Monday night. It’s all go.

So why get back into the limelight by rejoining the party, and all that entails?

“I’m doing it because I’m Bertie Ahern. I’m a former taoiseach, I’m doing it out of public service.”

And it’s all coming back to us now. The tribunal. We didn’t believe him then and we don’t believe him now.

But none of that matters, if Bertie believes in himself.

Perhaps this is just him testing the water. Enjoying the attention. Enjoying the recognition for good work done. Doing it gracefully.

Enjoy the moment. Don’t upset the apple tart.

Don’t do it Bertie.

Coalition Co-Santys

Junior ministers will be sick with excitement this weekend.

The nights are going to be like one long Christmas Eve and they will struggle to sleep, little excited heads dreaming of the goodies coming their way when Leo and Micheál dole them out during the week.

The Coalition’s Co-Santys will have made their lists and checked them at least twice to establish who has been naughty and who has been nice. And on foot of their deliberations, the Ministers of State will be dispatched to all four corners of the world to represent Ireland abroad on St Patrick’s Day.

They get the leftovers after their Cabinet superiors have taken their pick of the overseas trips on offer, and some do much better than others.

The Government is deciding next week on the travel roster for this year’s St Patrick’s Day exodus.

Taoiseach Leo Varadkar will resume the traditional shamrock run to the White House. Covid forced a two-year suspension of the annual Oval Office chinwag – the two years when Micheál Martin was taoiseach.

Micheál’s first visit was cancelled due to the pandemic, and in a dramatic turn of events, he tested positive for Covid on the eve of his planned meeting with Joe Biden last year and had to spend the rest of his trip to Washington under lockdown.

Bad luck for the former taoiseach as his successor gets to meet his second US president at the famous shamrock ceremony.

But Micheál won’t be too far from the action stateside this year as he will be in New York on March 17th, and while nothing has been confirmed there is every chance he will be marching in the parade. On St Patrick’s night the renowned Cross Border Orchestra of Ireland will be performing a sell-out concert in Carnegie Hall to mark the 25th anniversary of the Belfast Agreement. The show will feature some of Ireland’s most talented young musicians and dancers.

There is talk that the Tánaiste will be in the audience along with the Clintons and former Sinn Féin president Gerry Adams, who revels in the adulation he receives on his appearances in the Big Apple.

First dibs on overseas trips will have to be given to the three Ministers who, like Micheál, missed out last year. Charlie McConalogue tested positive before his trip to Canada, Simon Harris had to cancel his visit to France and then chief whip, Jack Chambers, pulled out of his big adventure in Los Angeles.

Meanwhile, the politicians don’t need the cover of our patron saint’s day to jet away to foreign climes.

We hear the Ceann Comhairle has departed for the Orient on an interparliamentary exchange at the invitation of the Japanese Diet (parliament).

There are a lot of trips coming up, but TDs are not too happy about this because their party whips are making them stay at home

Seán Ó Fearghaíl will meet speakers of both Houses of Parliament and visit Irish companies and members of the Irish community in the country. Other items on his itinerary include a visit to the Ireland House Project which is aimed at promoting Irish interests in Japan, and he will also pay his respects to the victims and survivors of Hiroshima.

The Ceann Comhairle’s Seanad counterpart, Jerry Buttimer, is heading off to New York on similar duty next week when he attends the annual gathering of the Inter-Parliamentary Union. The event is organised in co-operation with the UN and this year’s theme is Water for People and the Planet: Stop the Waste, Change the Game, Invest in the Future.

Fine Gael Senators Emer Currie (Japan) and Maria Byrne (US) are also heading away.

TDs and Senators are fond of their fact-finding trips abroad, often to see how their foreign counterparts work (eat and play). All that came to an abrupt halt during the pandemic, but now the planes and the politicians are moving again.

There are a lot of trips coming up, but TDs are not too happy about this because their party whips are making them stay at home. The Dáil voting margins are very tight and the whips are finding it very difficult to arrange voting pairs for their absent Deputies.

But the Dáil’s pain is the Seanad’s gain, and green-eyed TDs can only look on enviously as Senators pick off the plum trips.

Michéal Martin’s secret briefing on the balloon

Micheál Martin’s whirlwind trip to Washington this week was dominated by balloons.

When his itinerary was planned and the questions he might have to field on Northern Ireland were considered beforehand, his advisers weren’t to know that his hosts would be talking about little else but the Chinese spy balloon which was eventually shot down last Saturday by the US military.

Indeed, the Tánaiste was given “a secret briefing on the balloon” from State Department officials during his 48-hour American mission.

The Minister for Foreign Affairs and Defence finally managed to make it to the White House, where he met national security adviser Jake Sullivan. They discussed the war in Ukraine and the small matter of China, while reaffirming their enduring commitment to the Belfast Agreement.

They probably talked about Cork and Kerry too as Sullivan’s father is from Kenmare and his mother is from Skibbereen, but that didn’t make it on to the White House briefing note afterwards.

The Tánaiste met Joe Kennedy, the new US trade envoy, at the launch in the Rayburn Building on Capitol Hill of Peace Heroines, an exhibition celebrating women’s contributions to peace in Northern Ireland. Congressman Richie Neal co-chairs the Friends of Ireland caucus.

There was much talk of the new bank holiday back home in Ireland and St Brigid was mentioned by Micheál in most of his speeches

After a meeting with Senator Dick Durbin, Micheál was leaving his office when a passerby stopped in his tracks and looked back at him. “Micheál? Micheál Martin? What are you doing here?”

The man, a Dub from Drimnagh living in the US for the last 20 years and in Washington for the first time, was doing a tour of the building. Clearly, he still keeps an interest in Irish politics.

The morning after he arrived, the Tánaiste hosted a business breakfast for guests of the IDA and Enterprise Ireland at the Irish Embassy. The building has had a makeover and looks great. It can now cater for 500 people, so Leo Varadkar can throw a big party there when he is over in March.

There was much talk of the new bank holiday back home in Ireland and St Brigid was mentioned by Micheál in most of his speeches.

Ambassador Geraldine Byrne Nason officially represented Ireland at Joe Biden’s state of the nation address on Wednesday night, while Bono, who was a guest of first lady Jill Biden, attended in his official capacity as Bono.

Geraldine was claiming Brigid as a fellow countrywoman, although the Tánaiste told her he thought Kildare might have a claim on her too.

The Ambassador later tweeted: “As a proud Louth woman, I’m delighted to celebrate Louth-born St Brigid today! A thoroughly 21st century role model. She espoused equality and justice for all and was a defender of women in need. My kind of matron saint!”

Sneaky Leinster House smokers

There are a few little nooks around the Leinster House campus where the smokers can puff away with impunity. One of the most popular spots is outside the back door beside the Oireachtas restaurant and bars.

You don’t see many politicians openly pulling away on a ciggie these days. It’s more of a skulking exercise now. We won’t name the guilty – including a few Ministers and some very senior Senators and TDs from across the political spectrum – as most of them are sneaky smokers and might get it in the neck from loved ones if identified.

There isn’t a Finian McGrath among them to stand up for smokers’ rights. The former Independent Alliance TD and minister of State remained stubbornly determined to smoke outside in the designated areas, despite the disapproval of some of his peers and the Leinster House authorities.

But now the Leinster House health and safety people are considering whether a campus-wide ban on smoking should be introduced. A survey has gone to all Oireachtas workers asking for opinions on the move.

Is there support for a smoke-free campus policy? How aware are people of the existing policy? How many of them are smokers and is there a need for additional support services?

This review of the smoking policy came about after the Houses of the Oireachtas Commission received correspondence from Action on Smoking and Health (Ash) on the possibility of introducing an entirely smoke-free campus. It was forwarded to the Health and Safety Committee for consideration. The committee carried out significant research into the feasibility of introducing and implementing such a policy, which included examining the smoking policies of other parliaments, public institutions and work places generally.

The closing date for the receipt of competed surveys is next Friday. This is an extended deadline, which indicates the response has been less than enthusiastic.