We must try to find a new spiritual understanding

OPINION: As the new year dawns and the grip of recession tightens, let us strive to make the most of what we have, to maintain…

OPINION:As the new year dawns and the grip of recession tightens, let us strive to make the most of what we have, to maintain dignity and to listen to each other

AS WE embrace 2012 many of us will be living in fearful anticipation of how we might address the struggle to survive amidst rising costs, unemployment and a recession that has no immediate end in sight.

For those of us who were caught up in the so-called Celtic Tiger era there may be, finally, heightened awareness that things can really get out of control when we take our eye off the ball. No longer can we take anything for granted or rely on authorities to make the correct decisions for us. Instead we have to live within certain constraints.

“Easy for you” would appear to be the regular answer as we compare ourselves to each other and realise life is just not fair. There is no doubt life is kinder to some than others.

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It is not that long ago since we had a lot less and we were thankful for anything. There was a sense that individuals looked out for each other regardless of status or age. And of course we did not have multiple television channels or the internet seducing us with every label known to man or woman.

In a short period of time we believed we could have it all at the click of the mouse. We couldn’t get enough and we wanted it all, now. Instant gratification was the order of the day. There was no one to shout stop or to say you have had enough. We began to believe we could have it all in the shape of youthful appearance, designer labels, four-wheel drive vehicles and hideaways in the sun.

In reality, we were all gambling and we were on a roll, but like all addictions we avoided the consequences of our actions. We were self-destructing and did not care. Many of our actions were alcohol fuelled so we always had a handy excuse.

When it all came crumbling down we had nowhere to hide.

However, as a society we have to make difficult decisions to try to claw our way back to some sense of balance. We now have an opportunity to pause, recognise all the waste and observe how we have created a very unequal society.

But what messages are we delivering to our children? We wanted them to be more confident, more assertive and avail of every opportunity. But perhaps we forgot to tell them that not everyone can be a great footballer or become a millionaire.

Some of them never heard the word “no” and found this confusing as they bullied their way through school, trampling on others in the belief that this was a behaviour that gave them a sense of superiority. As they grew up some carried out their bullying tactics in the workplace, not realising that with age and experience we can lose as well as gain.

Some now find life difficult as they try to make sense and understand that not everyone is treated the same. Life is not just about gathering items that lie dormant when we wave goodbye to this materialistic world. We must find a new spiritual understanding to give us a better sense of ourselves as human beings.

With the advancement of technology we can access people in any corner of the world at the touch of a button. We can visit faraway places in less than a day. We can defy the ageing process with the clink of a knife. We can be informed about anything by looking at a screen. Women no longer have to say at home but can juggle motherhood with the corporate ladder. There is no end to the opportunities.

So everything seems possible but there can be a very high price tag. Very often it is only illness and death that jolt us.

Despite extreme hardships our ancestors tried their best to make society a little better. There were no guidelines, no policies, no strategic plans and very little money. But people had spirit and good hearts with no guarantees and few expectations – only a strong desire to improve the quality of life.

Today we have not found answers to the human pain that has put many in a maze of desperation that seems to have no exit sign. Let 2012 be the year for real change both of heart and direction.

Acceptance is a good place to start. We need to take responsibility for how we live. Very often this process can be difficult. We have to face a reality that we hoped would disappear. No longer can we buy our way out of difficulties. We cannot expect the Government to hand out doses of happiness but we can learn to hand it out to ourselves.

Create time to think. Enjoy the silence of your mind. Be more creative. Avoid going down the road of why did I make such as mess of my life. You are here now. Make the most of what you have. We must maintain our dignity and strive to listen to each other.

Life is tough at the moment. Few, if any, were prepared for this recession. However, if you are caught up with stress and worry you may not be able to see opportunities no matter how small. Action begets confidence and the more you do the more confident you become. Support is always there if you just ask. Do not leave it too late.

Let 2012 be the year we put aside policies and procedure that filled many pages at many meetings, and try to listen. Listen to what people are really saying in their daily lives. Can I do something to better another’s life? Can I spend time with someone who needs support?

Let us start with a new voice and let others hear your voice. What you have to say might be the solution to another’s problem. Let us all strive for a better country. Everyone in this country matters.

Ann Marie McMahon is a counselling psychologist in Dublin. She is the author of

Issues Not Tissues: A Fresh Approach to Personal Development