Cyclists and the towpaths of irony
Sir, – Ita McCormack (May 30th) writes that she shudders “to think of a family of cyclists silently coming up behind” as she walks along the Royal Canal towpath.
She is right to be concerned.
There is nothing I enjoy more than taking my own pack of cyclists out to stalk unsuspecting prey as they perambulate along the water’s edge.
A quick strike to the back of the neck with a handpump usually incapacitates the victim. The cub cyclists are then encouraged to play with the lifeless body; it helps them to develop their own predatory instincts and motor skills.
A decent-sized walker can feed a pack of up to seven cyclists, and after a good outing we may not need to eat again for four or five days.
It’s a jungle out there. – Yours, etc,