Sir, – Overheard in a queue in my local café the other day: “Vegans, they’re so annoying.” And all I was doing was asking if the café had any vegan cakes.
The remark got me thinking about the reasons why meat eaters might consider vegans like me annoying.
And so I put myself into the mind of a carnivore (I was one once, a long time ago), and the annoyances (listed below) flowed like a mountain spring.
Vegans prefer animals to humans. Vegans hate Christmas (all those dead turkeys).
Fontaines DC’s Grian Chatten: ‘Romance took a lot out of us. It was like a bomb went off, and then that silence’
A day in the Bere Island school where teachers commute by ferry and classes take place on the beach
Nicky English: The rules that hurling could, and should, steal from football immediately
Summer strawberries: Two desserts that celebrate the defining fruit of the season
Vegans are infuriatingly fussy eaters. Vegans are constantly ringing up Liveline to talk to Joe about animal cruelty.
Vegans are the dinner party guests from hell, making everyone feel guilty about the lamb and chicken they’re attempting to enjoy.
Vegans are full of flatulence (all those beans and lentils).
Vegans’ favourite saying is: “But you don’t need to eat animals”. Vegans pray every day to St Joaquin Phoenix, the well-known vegan god.
Vegans’ favourite expression is: “That’s why slaughterhouses don’t have glass walls.”
Vegans are always complaining about the lack of vegan choice in restaurants, and about the inferior quality of the vegan food in all restaurants.
Vegans are always right and meat eaters are always wrong. – Yours, etc,
GERRY BOLAND,
Keadue,
Co Roscommon.
