Sir, – Overheard in a queue in my local café the other day: “Vegans, they’re so annoying.” And all I was doing was asking if the café had any vegan cakes.
The remark got me thinking about the reasons why meat eaters might consider vegans like me annoying.
And so I put myself into the mind of a carnivore (I was one once, a long time ago), and the annoyances (listed below) flowed like a mountain spring.
Vegans prefer animals to humans. Vegans hate Christmas (all those dead turkeys).
Bloomsday: Aficionados enjoy a Full Joyce for breakfast then devour extra helpings of Ulysses
Rory Stewart: Britons’ view of Ireland has gone from ‘patronising superiority to complete ignorance’
Israelis under attack from Iran shift to full-scale war mode
Rosita Boland: Was it just me who found the slogans on two men’s t-shirts so inappropriate?
Vegans are infuriatingly fussy eaters. Vegans are constantly ringing up Liveline to talk to Joe about animal cruelty.
Vegans are the dinner party guests from hell, making everyone feel guilty about the lamb and chicken they’re attempting to enjoy.
Vegans are full of flatulence (all those beans and lentils).
Vegans’ favourite saying is: “But you don’t need to eat animals”. Vegans pray every day to St Joaquin Phoenix, the well-known vegan god.
Vegans’ favourite expression is: “That’s why slaughterhouses don’t have glass walls.”
Vegans are always complaining about the lack of vegan choice in restaurants, and about the inferior quality of the vegan food in all restaurants.
Vegans are always right and meat eaters are always wrong. – Yours, etc,
GERRY BOLAND,
Keadue,
Co Roscommon.
