DRAPIER: Another favourite truism of Irish politics bit the dust this week when Bertie Ahern triumphantly led his Coalition Government back into office, the first time a government has been returned since 1969. It was a considerable personal triumph for a Taoiseach whose popularity dominated a dull campaign and dwarfed his Cabinet colleagues.
There was, of course, nothing dull about the staggering outcome, which has substantially changed the political landscape. All the ingredients were there for a spectacular opening of the 29th Dáil. A dispirited main Opposition party sporting a brand new leader. A myriad of Independents, many of whom anticipated that they would be power-brokers. Breakthroughs by the Greens and Sinn Féin threatened fireworks in Opposition. Major changes in the composition of Cabinet beckoned, we were told.
And yet this unique day in the Dáil calendar didn't quite take fire and Drapier is not sure why. The Taoiseach's own performance, so buoyant on the hustings, was lack-lustre. Whereas the day started with the usual welter of rumour, speculation and partial leaks, the excitement never reached the usual pitch.
The news that Jim McDaid was a certain casualty didn't raise too many eyebrows, although the promotion of Rory O'Hanlon and the retention of Labour's Seamus Pattison as his understudy did. Both men have had long careers and both are eligible for the free bus pass. It didn't augur well for the promised preferment of younger talent. Maybe it was the predictability of the election for Taoiseach. Maybe it was the predictability of the speeches from the Independents.
Drapier understands why they had to sing for their parochial supper, but almost without exception they failed to rise above the parish pump. As usual, of the Independent members, Socialist deputy Joe Higgins made the best speech, although it was good to hear Tony Gregory on one of his rare attendances in the chamber.
The Cabinet appointments, when eventually reached, were curiously an anti-climax. A procedural vote called by the Greens broke the drama of the moment and by now the identity of the new line-up was apparent. Michael McDowell was indeed the new Justice Minister, having finally contrived, as Ruairí Quinn noted, to time his election to the Dáil with the return of his party to government.
Séamus Brennan got his reward for his assiduous five years of babysitting the "Fianna Fáil Independents". The most popular deputy in the House, Mary Coughlan, won out against the most ambitious one, Mary Hanafin, who looked like she might use her new position as Chief Whip to dish out a hundred lines to any recalcitrant backbenchers.
Of the newcomers, the biggest winner is the former PD deputy, Martin Cullen, who, in landing Environment, was aided by geographic considerations. The same considerations worked against Frank Fahey in Galway West, where the Fianna Fáil vote declined and he failed to bring in Margaret Cox. His fate was sealed when one member of the de Valera clan had to be replaced by another in the shape of Eamon Ó Cuív from the same constituency.
The biggest overall winners, however, were the old war-horses Joe Walsh and Michael Smith, who were both considered fortunate to have been included in 1997. Indeed on that occasion Smith lost out and only succeeded after Ray Burke's departure. Their survival was like a wet blanket for ambitious younger Fianna Fáil hopefuls and undermined the Taoiseach's promise of new faces and radical surgery.
At this stage, as Seymour Crawford remarked, Joe Walsh must have shares in the Department of Agriculture. When the Haughey administration in 1987/89 conferred favoured status on Goodman International, Joe Walsh was the man chosen by Haughey to advance the Beef Development Plan that never materialised. Walsh endured a most uncomfortable time before the Beef Tribunal but survived to become Minister for Agriculture on four occasions, interrupted only by the brief intervention of the Rainbow government.
Joe Walsh did have a good foot-and-mouth campaign, but it is surely unwise to leave the same person so long in charge of a Department which itself is no stranger to controversy.
Michael Ring and Seymour Crawford, mindful of the farmers at the gate, taunted new PD deputy Tom Parlon about the paucity of reference to farmers in the Programme for Government, which he helped to negotiate. The PDs generally seemed unruffled by Opposition taunts, as if they couldn't believe they are back with eight TDs. Ruairí Quinn, with "a lapdog not a watchdog", Gay Mitchell with "an addendum to government" and Pat Rabbitte with "merely guests in government" had little success in raining on their parade. Fiona O'Malley evoked memories of the days when the Committee on Procedure and Privileges required lady members to sport headgear in the chamber.
The new Fine Gael leader, Enda Kenny, had a good day, mixing grace and resolution in about the right balance. He will face tougher challenges in the months ahead. A retrenchment to traditional Fine Gael values was more than hinted at by both Kenny and his old boss, John Bruton, as they highlighted the recklessness of the outgoing administration on the public finances.
The Greens made quite an impact on day one with three of their new deputies contributing their own brand of idealism and originality, which left Sinn Féin sounding somewhat stale and predictable. However, the Greens would need to check their propensity for juvenile gimmicks, and proposing Trevor Sargent for Taoiseach is a bit too fanciful. Labour, alone of the Opposition parties, retains its position in a very different chamber.
But it was the Government's day and Bertie Ahern will know that not all days will be like this.