Not surprisingly, the most amusing speaker at the FF Ardfheis in the RDS last weekend was the Minister for Health, Brian Cowen. As the warm-up for the Taoiseach, Bertie Ahern, he pulled no punches in having a go at the Opposition, but it was New Labour rather than John Bruton and FG that got the full lash of his tongue. Bruton, he said, ran the last government, Proinsias De Rossa ran John Bruton and Dick Spring ran the whole show . . . into the ground. The story was told in the book Snakes and Ladders, but the last election had driven the snakes out, he said.
Now it would take more than a dose of Viagra to get the merged parties up and running, and Cowen referred to the four men who would run the show for the next couple of years - dubbed the politburo by Mary O'Rourke - as three
beards and a disco bunny. Doubtless meaning Ruairi Quinn, Proinsias De Rossa, Brendan Howlin and Pat Rabbitte, he said if they were joined by Emmet they could have a Stagg party as good as anything in Temple Bar.
There were references to the long revolutionary journeys the icons of the left had endured, from Mao and Lenin to Che Guevara and De Rossa. The latter, he said, started his journey as Frank Ross, moved through many stages and now hoped to be off to Brussels swilling champagne with Bernie, the sub, trailing behind.
Cowen's remarks about Bruton on a bus with the Merc following, and his reference to the PDs some years ago - if in doubt, leave them out - were mild by comparison. He wants them all to know he's no softie.
