Profile: Despite its well-intentioned upbringing, the office Christmas party has degenerated into an ugly child, prone to unruly outbursts and trouble with the law, writes Shane Hegarty
Did I really do that? Did you see what she did? Did you hear about him and her? You know who walked in on them? Are they in trouble? Am I in trouble? I'll apologise to the staff.
It's the Christmas office party season again. A night when something about the mix of alcohol and the loosening of the collar button on one's shirt seems to liberate the inhibitions at the same time as it stifles the common sense.
It's not like that for all, of course. Most enjoy the annual staff outing as an opportunity to familiarise themselves with their colleagues without carrying the conversation to the more intimate confines of the broom cupboard. Most take the opportunity to show a different side to their personality without needing to do so through the medium of photocopied body parts. However, few Christmas parties pass off without incident. There is always someone for whom ho, ho, ho becomes oh, no, no.
The Australians, for some reason, seem to have done a lot of research on this. According to a psychologist at the University of Tasmania, the temporary dementia is triggered not just by the alcohol but also by the change of context. When people are used to working under set routines and hierarchies for the other 364 days of the year, the removal of those parameters can be a sudden release.
"The different atmosphere, combined with the loosening of the neuro- transmitters is a great recipe for disaster among some people," he explains. It wasn't me honey; it was loose neuro-transmitters. Honey?
The Christmas party is big business, but the boom was its heyday. For Irish companies it served the dual purpose of rewarding staff while also being an ostentatious display to competitors and potential employees of just how much money they could spend on lavish events. It became quite the thing to fly staff abroad; one company was rumoured to have spent £250,000 on a single day's entertainment, one that treated 1,200 employees to champagne while Macnas performed a floorshow.
"The market is about the same this year as it was last year," says Ronan McCabe of event organisers, Company Occasions. "Everyone still has the party; the difference is that they might want it to be cheaper, but they still want it to be good. So they might not be spending on accessories such as lighting, décor, table cloths, that kind of thing. But they still want it to be different." The average minimum cost of an all-inclusive evening at a hotel, often sharing with other companies, is about €70 a head. Companies looking for something more unusual might push that to €150 per head. The big spenders still splurge up to €600 per employee.
The trend, says McCabe, is for companies to get away from the straightforward format of drinks, dinner and a band. Company Occasions runs interactive quizzes, race nights and stock-market games. "Companies like those because it helps to get people involved and it also means that they won't go straight into the drinks after dinner." A company's largesse is a pretty good indication of its current situation.
If last year's black-tie affair in the RDS, featuring free-flowing Château Lafite and the cast of Riverdance, has this year been replaced by an early-bird special at Pizza Hut, then you've probably spent much of the intervening year nervously eyeing the jobs pages.
For a couple of years now, the major bash has had the potential to come across as a little showy. After the September 11th attacks, firms all across the US decided against holding Christmas parties for fear of implying that they were having an inappropriately jolly season. In 2000, there was uproar in RTÉ when a senior executive threw a fine party around the same time that trainee producers were let go.
Take away the Christmas party, though, and you're left with a staff of Bob Cratchits. A survey by UK recruitment firm Reed found that employees believe it to be more important than incentive schemes or subsidised gym membership.
It says much that, while it's only one night in the year, there are an awful lot of researchers running around assessing attitudes to the Christmas do. Apparently, only 4 per cent expect to drink too much at this year's event, which proves that self-delusion is not a condition exclusive to drunkenness. Only 3 per cent of women said that they would flirt with colleagues, while 20 per cent of men, undeterred by those odds, said they would take the chance for a fling. Most of those under 30 years old are looking forward to the night out. Most over 50 are not.
A recent British report said that while three-quarters of bosses will sanction a seasonal social event, six out of 10 employers refuse to pay for it because they know that staff will abuse that generosity. They could end up paying nonetheless. The Christmas party is becoming a legal minefield.
What might seem like the minor embarrassment of a drunken night might be the major legal case of the morning after. In Scotland, a woman last year claimed unfair dismissal when she was sacked after refusing to go to her Christmas party. Meanwhile, the union that represented her case was itself involved in one in which three of its employees used the fact that they were not invited to a Christmas party as proof they were being victimised.
The National Safety Council of Australia this year ran seminars warning companies about potential pitfalls. It warned that the "kris kringle" that some offices run - in which people are randomly and anonymously assigned a colleague for whom they must buy a gift - could be problematic. What if someone buys deodorant or toothpaste for a colleague with an obvious odour problem? Or a mildly sexual gift that is not appreciated by its recipient?
"Companies are responsible if staff sexually harass or harass another staff member at the Christmas party," explains Sue Mulhall of the Dublin-based human resources consultants People Matters. "The unwelcome stolen kiss under the mistletoe or the unwanted drunken grope by the bar could be enough to land the unaware host in legal hot water."
Employers should understand that there is often uncertainty about when the party ceases to be the responsibility of the firm, points out Mulhall. Last year, the North Eastern Health Board paid out €5,000 to an employee after its Christmas party. Following revelries in a hotel, a staff member asked everybody back to her place, except for a single care-worker who also happened to be a member of the travelling community. That person successfully sued for discrimination on the grounds that the health board had not investigated the subsequent complaint and argued that he would not have attended the party if it hadn't been organised by his employers.
Other problems might arise from an employee's off-hand but offensive joke or by holding the event in a wheelchair-inaccessible venue. Even the subsequent circulation of photographs around the office could lead to problems, and the arrival of the camera phone has the potential to make that even more dangerous. Mulhall recommends that companies lay down the procedures and policies of staff nights out, using training if necessary. For this Christmas she recommends that bosses make clear what constitutes the office party.
"They need to make sure their staff know at what stage they become adults and have to take responsibility for themselves," she says.
It is as if we are developing such a problem with office parties that the entire nation might wake up in January and agree never again to mention the month before. How was my Christmas office party? I'll have to refer all questions to my solicitor.
Office Party File
What is it?
The once-a-year opportunity to let your hair down or let yourself down in front of the whole company.
Why is it in the news?
From now until the end of January, hotles, bars and restaurants will be reverberating to its raucous noise.
Most appealing characteristic
The way a company repays its staff for all their hard work during the year.
Least appealing characteristic
The way its staff abuses that generosity.
Most likely to happen
A night that few people can remember will include at least one moment no one will ever forget.
Least likely to happen
Nothing much.