IT began with a "Dream". Lights, action, music. One could be forgiven for mistaking Labour's manifesto launch for London fashion week yesterday as their model cabinet sashayed along their catwalk, grinning inanely to Things Could Only Get Better.
Lurid green, yellow, blue and red banners draped from the hall's golden pillars amid posters declaring: "Britain deserves better." This was New Labour, organised like a military campaign, with everyone following the party's Svengali, Peter Mandelson's orders to march to the teeny-pop group D-Ream's tune.
No doubt embarrassed by all this razzamatazz, Tony Blair's chosen few quickly found their seats and waited for their leader. In he strode, expressionless and tense, clutching his personal crusade to his chest.
Clearly the spin-doctors had perfected the final make-over, warning him against any big, cheesy grins. Posing for the hundreds of cameras, Mr Blair appeared to be almost biting his cheeks, such was the determination not to smile.
Even Mr Mandelson seemed pleased to witness the media circus, with photographers up to three-deep at his master's feet, while journalists scrambled for chairs, many forced to squeeze together and share a seat. Presumably this is what New Labour means by bonding.
Unfortunately it was obvious that Mr Blair's inner circle had still failed to bond. Sitting on the platform, his deputy, John Prescott, the shadow chancellor, Gordon Brown, the trade and industry spokeswoman, Margaret Beckett, and shadow foreign secretary, Robin Cook, looked uneasy in each other's company, failing to exchange a single word.
Grasping the podium in both hands, Mr Blair cautiously launched his "contract with the people". Almost as one, the shadow cabinet turned their heads, watching their leader at work, hanging on his every word.
Hands, here, there and everywhere. Mr Blair is indeed the master of gesticulation. Wagging his finger, he declared this is "my bond of trust with the people of Britain", with his arms stretched out he "defied anyone to deny this is a radical programme".
Trust was obviously the key-word. Every time Mr Blair uttered it, his colleagues sprang into action, nodding their heads in agreement. There were no surprises, no commitments, only hopes and aspirations. "We are not saying vote Labour on May 1st and on May 2nd all your problems will be solved ... I won't make any guarantees unless I am absolutely sure of delivering it," he said.
Pity he did not trust Mr Prescott to choose the favoured few journalists to ask questions. Again conscious of playing to a wider audience, Mr Blair immediately selected television reporters.
Like any true politician Mr Blair ably side-steps questions by delivering laborious and often longwinded answers. So much so that one questioner asked how the electorate could expect to vote for New Labour when he had failed to deliver "enough information to make an informed choice".
As if to prove his Thatcherite credentials Mr Blair willingly conceded that the Tories had got "some things right" during their 18 years in government and then, as his left-wing colleagues grimaced and rolled their eyes, he launched into an anti-union tirade.
"I am not saying this out of any machismo but if anyone believes this Labour government is a return to the past he is wrong," he insisted.
Indeed, the only link to the past yesterday appeared to be a small bowl of red roses.