CHILD'S PLAY Another hectic fortnight has just sped past. Tim is now one month old, but I feel years older! Susan Hayden reports on life as a new mum.
I am still not back in my normal clothes, despite carrying Tim up and down the stairs several times a day as part of the burping process. I feel cheated that no effects of this unknown exercise (unknown to me) are visible.
One of my first many mistakes since Tim came home was to buy a baby book - one that would alleviate all my concerns. I arrived home triumphant with a very heavy, very expensive book and then realised that it was for toddlers to adolescents and no good at all. Kind friends subsequently loaned us their baby book but I have now realised that a baby book's greatest use is under your feet when feeding. I have three now, and each one contradicts the other.
Mum and Dad came to my aid again early on - Dad kindly loaned me Mum for two two-day shifts, which helped me retain my sanity, and both sisters, home from abroad for Easter, had their chance to compete for the 'best aunt' category. The contest was declared a draw! Having company was as important as having help, and also delayed the need to cope with a little baby by myself.
The 'little baby' is very much the boss in our household in spite of my good intentions before he arrived. I had been determined to get him into a routine immediately, but after just one day of following the routine book, we were both exhausted and I gave up. The only regular activity in his life over which I have any control is a morning bath. I began with the intention of giving him a relaxing evening bath to be followed by a session of baby massage. The baby massage never happened as the bath, rather than relax Tim, woke him up completely and he took hours to settle again. Even the switch to morning has been a power struggle. My second intention was to bath him and then feed him, to avoid him vomiting in the bath, but as the order is determined by who shouts loudest, it is, more often than not, the other way around.
We are having more success with getting him to sleep on his own. Feeding times permitting, we have begun to put him to bed in his basket in our room by himself, for at least half an hour before I go to bed. Although not too keen, he has taken to this better than I expected. I have also started to lay him in the cot in the nursery when I am getting the water for changing him so that it is not totally alien to him when we decide to move him in there. He is fascinated by the thermometer and that keeps him occupied long enough to get ready. Another winner in terms of getting his attention has been the grossly under-valued remote control - any remote control. We tried him first with the TV remote control - an instant success. Next, the video remote control - another hit. The only item with buttons not to hold his attention is my mobile phone. Maybe Tim does belong to a smarter generation! He has started to reach out (perhaps accidentally, but often on target!) and touch Michael and me. However, he also frequently sticks his finger in his eye and leaves it there, so his co-ordination skills still need fine-tuning.
Although firmly against tiptoeing around Tim during his daytime sleeps, he wakes so easily that I realised one day that that was exactly what I was doing. It was when I clattered my third saucepan lid in a row and cursed loudly that it dawned on me that the amount of noise I make is in direct proportion to how quiet I am trying to be. I did, however, discover unknown juggling skills when I recently dropped a glass and managed, with contortions, to catch it before it hit the tiled floor. As I have said before, a learning curve - in more ways than one.
Susan Hayden