THERE was the year somebody kicked the football into the birthday cake, the time one little guest burbled "Are you her granny or her mammy?" and the time the birthday girl invited all 30 of her five year old classmates to the party and you couldn't say no because they would have been disappointed.
Then there were all those crazy expeditions, like the one Mairead endured recently.
It started at 2.00 p.m., ended at 7.00 p.m, and in between featured cars packed with small boys, squabbles in the cinema queue at Tallaght shopping centre on a Saturday afternoon, chip fights at the post movie fast food restaurant birthday party and frazzled Mairead's purse lighter by £70. And she only brought them out because she thought it would all be easier away from home.
Children's birthday parties have got out of control, says Fionnuala Kilfeather of the National Parents' Council - Primary. And it's time, she thinks, for parents to call a halt to overdoing it.
We start by having birthday parties for our children because we get a kick out of the fun they have. They come to expect the annual event and by the time they're six and older, have strong ideas about how many guests, where to go and what to do.
By eight, nine, and 10 years of age, they're jaded party animals who've been to McDonalds, Bam Bams, the Fun Factory, the zoo. They expect goodie bags going home because everybody has them and arrive at a party with entertainment written all over their little faces. Many parents, feeling unequal to the task, hire a growing army of children's entertainers to take the pressure off them.
An average party - out or at home - for 10 children will easily cost £50. It can be a lot more.
Then there are worries about the etiquette of it all: if child X invites your Sean to his party, must you have him back? How do you distribute invitations without hurting feelings? What can you safely feed your guests? (There are always several children who'll inform you "I'm allergic to that".)
Fionnuala Kilfeather says that children's parties are a growing pressure on parents of all income groups, and that many parents, anticipating the cost, and/or the wear and tear on their nerves and on their homes, have come to dread them. And if that's the way you feel, she says, you should definitely reconsider having them.
"You can bargain with children. For example, offer a choice between bringing two or three good friends to the cinema, or having a party for 10 at home. Plan what you want to do with them so that you don't suddenly find they've invited 60 children to the party. It's happened to all of us once," she laughs ruefully.
She warns that you do have to be tactful. She believes you should go to the trouble of contacting parents individually, rather than risk hurting the feelings of children not invited. (Some patient teachers will handle invitation distribution discreetly for you.) If you can't afford a party per year per child, let them have them in turns. Get parents in your school or community to discuss things like goodie bags, and perhaps collectively agree to stop them.
Angela Canavan, co ordinator of Barnardo's National Children's Resource Centre in Dublin says that of course it's a good thing to make an occasion of a child's birthday, but agrees parents must resist pressure and negotiate with their children to agree on an acceptable, affordable party.
AND if you don't want a party, just say "no" says Mary Killeen a mother of nine from Kildare and member of the NPC.
She will occasionally have a party but prefers to find out what special treat the birthday child would like and do that Celebrations for her nine 10 and 11 year olds might typically consist of a trip to the movies with just one special friend and a few siblings.
