Woman secures safety order against husband of 50 years for verbal abuse

Co Clare woman says she is afraid of her husband from an emotional point of view

A Co Clare woman, married more than 50 years to her husband, has secured a safety order against him because of his continual verbal and emotional abuse of her in their home.

The married couple are both in their 70s and continue to live together.

At the Family Law Court in Ennis, the woman said that her husband has recently called her a "fat bitch" and a "c**t".

He continued to verbally abuse her in spite of giving an earlier undertaking to Judge Patrick Durcan that he would not be vulgar towards her and treat her with respect.

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In evidence, the woman said: “I am not happy being called ‘a fat bitch’ and I am not happy with him being verbally abusive towards me.”

In the case, solicitor for the woman, Anne Walsh, said that the verbal abuse has continued since the last court date in March.

The retired man told the court that he does use vulgar words and said that vulgar language is frequently used by those in his former profession.

Arrogance

In reply, a clearly irate Judge Durcan said: “You are also a husband and sharing a domestic space with your wife. You just keep quiet. I will not have any of that type of arrogance that you are portraying in this court.”

Judge Durcan said that the man’s profession “means that you are a professional man and the least I would expect is that you would be able to behave in a professional way”.

Judge Durcan ordered the man to listen to the evidence of his wife.

In reply, the man said: “I have been listening to it for more than 50 years. Go on.”

In reply, Judge Durcan said: “You just behave yourself.”

In response, the man said: “Oh yes. I will behave myself – good, bad or indifferent.”

Crude names

Judge Durcan told the man that he called his wife “crude names” and in reply, the man said: “That is probably true.”

The man – who was not legally represented in court – shouted: “She is a good person. I am a bad person. I am guilty. I don’t give a damn about it. What am I supposed to say?”

In evidence, the wife said that she is not afraid of her husband physically but is afraid of him from an emotional point of view in how he addresses her. She said that if her husband is drinking, the verbal abuse can happen very often.

Judge Durcan granted the safety order for three years. According to the order, the husband is prohibited from verbally abusing his wife and a breach of it is a criminal offence.

Gordon Deegan

Gordon Deegan

Gordon Deegan is a contributor to The Irish Times