Are you friends with Harney's lovely hair?

Mary Coughlan may not have a Facebook account but she, like many Irish politicians, has an online presence without official sanction, writes ROSITA BOLAND

FACEBOOK HAS one million users in Ireland, but when the Tánaiste, Mary Coughlan, turned up at the official opening of the Dublin office earlier this week, it transpired that she was not one of them. As the occasion was to mark the creation of 70 more jobs at Facebook’s Dublin base, which is the headquarters for Europe, the Middle East and Africa, it was quite a revelation for the Minister for Enterprise, Trade and Employment to make.

Actually, there is a Facebook page called “An Tánaiste Mary Coughlan”, complete with her picture, but once you start reading the content it seems unlikely to be authentic. “Brian won’t let me speak on the radio or in the papers anymore so I’m using this ‘social networking’ to get my message across. Brian is retiring soon I want to be Taoiseach!” reads the personal information box. Under the page’s “job description” is the line “Brian hasn’t told me yet.” This site has 218 friends.

Not many of our sitting TDs are on the world’s most famous social networking site, which is used by Barack Obama. For instance, Bertie Ahern doesn’t appear to have a Facebook page but there are several sites under the name Bertie Ahern, including three called: “Stop Bertie Ahern becoming President of Ireland” (711 members); “Bring back Bertie Ahern” (127 members); and “Bertie Ahern for English Rugby coach” (44 members). This last site is under the “just for fun” group category – the other two are categorised as “common interest” – and one “friend” posts the comment, “look at how he screwed up our entire country, imagine the mess he’d make of English rugby!”.

Dermot Ahern doesn’t appear to have an official page either, but he does have three in his name, including one called “Express your support for blasting Dermot Ahern into space.” However, people don’t seem to rushing forward to wish Ahern “bon voyage”, as this page has only one member.

Eamon Ryan does have an official page (147 supporters). One of his latest posts was reminding people about a pub quiz in the Goat Grill, in south Dublin, promising “generous prizes and riotous fun”. There is also a group called “Eamon Ryan – The sexiest politician in Ireland”, which has 72 members. “This group is a light-hearted celebration and appreciation of his engaging charm,” reads the description.

Actually, it can be a little difficult working out the official sites from the imposters. Brian Cowen does not have an official page, but there is one in his name that looks crashingly, numbingly official; stacked with all his recent statements and speeches. There are countless others in his name, of which it is easier to guess their unofficial status: “Brian Cowen is a cabbage” (443 members); “Brian Cowen hasn’t a clue what he’s doing!!!!” (347 members); and “Brian Cowen best bits” (61 members).

Someone has a set up an “I (heart) Jackie Healy-Rae group, numbering 149 members. They have described him thus: “Independent Fianna Fáil TD, farmer, publican, Messiah. With his trademark mangy flat cap, his fondness for the saxophone and his often *unusual* turn of phrase, he is undoubtedly an Irishman for the twenty-first century.” One group member, Lauren, who appears to be American, posted this comment last month: “I met Jackie at a pub in Killarney last week during my vacation in Ireland and a nicer man, you will never meet! He made me feel so welcome in Killarney. What an interesting fellow, full of spunk. He actually sang Toora Loora to me! I didn’t even know who he was until a friend of his told me. I thought he was just a nice man in a cute Irish cap, and that he is.”

There doesn’t seem to be an official page for Mary Harney, but there are more than a score of different groups using her name in various ways. “Feck off Mary Harney” has 461; “Resign Mary Harney” has 290 members; “Shame on you Mary Harney” has 573. There are many others, frequently with strongly-worded accompanying comments from group members, but not all the groups are hostile. The group “Mary Harney’s hair is lovely” has 17 members. “Considering us taxpayers pay for it to look so good, it’s not only a compliment to Mary, it’s a compliment to us,” reads the comment.