Finally, the rest of last week's US email:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Bill Gates: I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
Dr Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Martin Luther King, jr: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross without having their motives called into question.
Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
Karl Marx: It was an historical inevitability.
Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Ronald Reagan: What chicken?
Capt James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
George Bush Snr: I don't think I should have to answer that question.
Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Col Sanders: I missed one?
Quidnunc is rholohan@irish-times.ie