Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘Sorcha has an – I think it’s a word – alterior motive for the Zoom call’

Sorcha is working on her best self and getting the old man and old dear talking again

‘There’s nothing wrong with the computer. It’s, like, a language barrier issue?’ Illustration: Alan Clarke

‘There’s nothing wrong with the computer. It’s, like, a language barrier issue?’ Illustration: Alan Clarke

I can tell that Ronan’s not coping well with the lockdown. He’s sitting in front of the computer in a vest that looks like it hasn’t been washed for a month. He has a shaved head, six weeks of red fuzz on his face and the crazy look of a man who’s thinking of just making a run for it, 2km radius be damned.

It’s his wife’s birthday today – the official reason for the family Zoom call? Although Sorcha has an – I think it’s a word – alterior motive, which is to get my old pair talking again. Yeah, no, they haven’t exchanged a word since she focked him out for turning down her proposal of marriage.

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