AVRIL MULCAHY, modern matchmaker, gives us the scoop on dating, flirting and Ireland's worst pick-up artist
You describe yourself as a modern matchmaker. What does that mean?Well, my mother taught me that a person should always have a roof over their head, food in their stomach and love in their heart. I help people out with the third part. Love is one of the most beautiful things in the world. But you won't find it if you're desperate, sad, bitter or depressed.
This is a self-help concept then, rather than a 'Mary, meet John. He's not much to look at but he has a few acres' type of thing? Absolutely. I'm currently promoting the Valentia Isle Festival, which is a music and mingling festival. It's a completely new concept, the first of its kind in Europe.
Isn't every festival a music and mingling festival?This is different. As well as musical acts like Jerry Fish and The Rubberbandits, I'll also be running power flirting workshops during the day. I'll be giving people the skills and the confidence that will make them more attractive to the opposite sex.
What is power flirting? Does it involve waving your arms about while you flirt?No. Power flirting is a mindset. People in Ireland think 'flirting' is a dirty word. But my attitude is that it's something you should be doing all the time.
All the time?All the time.
What about when I'm renewing my motor tax? Sure. It's about changing those inhibitions that tell you, oh, you can't flirt with this person, you can't flirt with that person. Basically, I've looked at people like Marilyn Monroe who are very good at flirting. She used her eyes, her body, her smile. For men, I've looked at someone like James Bond ...
Aren't these slightly unrealistic role models for most people?Not at all. Marilyn Monroe started out as a very plain girl called Norma Jean. But then learned how to package herself in a way that was attractive to men. Women need to learn what men find attractive. And vice versa. I had one client recently who doesn't even have a job. But he started wearing nice fitted jackets when he was going out. The difference was phenomenal.
Last year, you embarked on 40 dates in 40 days. Why?I suppose I wanted to make the point that it's okay to talk about dating. In America, people go on dates at the drop of a hat. In Ireland, people are terrified. They'd rather settle on the first person who comes along. I tried internet dating. I tried speed dating. My friends set me up. Even my own mother at home in Tipperary managed to get me a date.
Knowing Irish men, you must have met a fair few idiots along the way?Not at all. Most of the guys I met were lovely and very genuine. There was one guy, I remember, who approached me as I was walking through Merrion Square. He said 'Excuse me, can I ask you a question?' I thought he was a tourist, so I said 'Yeah, of course.' He asked me, 'Why are you so beautiful?'
I presume you pepper-sprayed him at this point?No. He asked me to take off my sunglasses and he looked in my eyes. He said 'You're the one. You're the one that I've been looking for.' He told me he was a Hollywood actor. He took out his iPhone and showed me photos of himself on various film sets. I thought: 'You know, maybe this is legit'. He told me I had a ballerina's figure and he twirled me around on the street.
That's a pick-up technique. The guy was a pick-up artist.Yes, he was a pick-up artist. I'd actually gone to one of his seminars a few months previously. But it wasn't until he did the twirl that I recognised him. He had on these tacky earrings and he was using a lot of cheesy chat-up lines. He looked ridiculous. Anyway, I agreed to go on a date ...
Wait! What? Why?Because I was intrigued. We met outside St Stephen's Green and I thought we were going to get dinner. But then he announced that, as well as being a Hollywood actor, he was also a masseuse. And would I like to go back to his flat for a massage?
Still intrigued?Not so much. But that was just one out of 40. The vast majority of guys I met were fabulous people and I'm still friends with most of them. And this is the point I'm making. Irish women complain that there are no eligible bachelors out there. But there are. You can meet them, you can date them, using methods that are available to everyone. It's just a case of making the effort.
The Valentia Isle Festival takes place on September 14th-16th, valentiaislefestival.com
