Culture

Cher: Our New VBF

Cher makes her grand return as a movie star, singer and icon. She is the ultimate Dancing Queen

Cher is not one to just accept the cards she’s been dealt, she’s the ultimate comeback queen

Louise Bruton
Sat Sep 29 2018 - 05:00

The earth trembles and the sky splits. The wind whips even faster around coastal areas and the temperatures rise for Cher – the one-named, pop odyssey and almighty legend, is back in our lives. Since the 1960s, she has been a chart-topping diva, an Oscar-winning dame, an icon, a legend and a revered household name. Not one to just accept the cards she’s been dealt, she’s the ultimate comeback queen, overcoming loss and the ever-changing favour of the charts and bouncing back stronger each time.

If Cher were actually human (she's made out of particles of the stars and moon, you see) she would be our VBF but she will outlive us all, meaning that her spell as our VBF will only last as long as we shall live. And, oh! But aren't we blessed that she chose to grace this realm with her presence, her talent, her beauty and that distinctive voice. A voice that can turn ships off course, while siphoning the ocean's water an inch off the earth's surface. She's not a sorceress, she's not a witch - well, she was . . . briefly in the 1987 comedy horror The Witches of Eastwick . And she's not an illusion; she's simply otherworldly, for she. . . is Cher.

Appearing in this summer's big blockbuster Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again for a grand total of seven minutes, she managed to steal the show in the shortest time possible. Dressed head to toe in ivory white, her moon silver bouffant glistening as if dusted with magic, as Meryl Streep's mother and a majestic Las Vegas strip star, she sings the beloved Abba classic Fernando. Her voice curls around the lyrics, giving them a more seductive meaning than we had ever realised and whilst waltzing in a robotic yet poetic way with Andy García, she left cinema goers utterly gobsmacked. The news that she would then be releasing an entire album of Abba covers  - entitled Dancing Queen - was met with pure glee. The teaser ad for her cover of Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight) confirmed what we all wanted to believe; this could either be the greatest thing on earth or a huge mistake. Turns out that it's the former.

Upon its official and full-length release, it came with extra razzmatazz, added autotune (fun fact: her 1998 single Believe is one of the first charting songs - number one in 23 countries, no less - to use autotune as a vocal effect, going on to influence the splicing and dicing of vocals from here onto eternity) and unabashed disco beats, this version of Abba's 1979 song gets played in gay clubs far and wide. Her next single, SOS, does the same; honouring a classic song but injecting it with levels of camp that we just about deserve. Cher, who is one Tony shy of fulfilling the EGOT (Emmy, Golden Globe, Oscar and Tony) is a experienced multitasker. Not just content with having a role in what seems to be one of the most enjoyable movies to have ever starred in, she's reminding people of who she is and what she is capable of. For some people, this may be the first time they've ever heard of Cher. What we would give to inhale Cher for the first time.

READ MORE

This new dawn, this new era, sees Cher bringing these songs, along with 53 years worth of hits, covers, collaborations and groundbreaking songs, on tour across North America, Australia and New Zealand. She is yet to confirm any European dates but if we know Cher like we think we know Cher, she’s just testing the water before she splashes back into our lives entirely.