All in the Game: Stuck up a creek with Wes Hoolohan

Mick McCarthy ends Irish managerial presence; Confusing Dzeko for Lukaku

Wes Hoolahan has proven an unlikely source of inspiration for one Norwich fan. Photograph: Ryan Byrne/Inpho

Wes Hoolahan has proven an unlikely source of inspiration for one Norwich fan. Photograph: Ryan Byrne/Inpho

 

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“It has been very, very tough, to never be wanted, to feel that people wanted me to fail, saying I was useless, a fat waste of space, a tactically inept cabbage head.”

Apart from that, Steve Bruce enjoyed his time at Newcastle.

Number: 0

That’s how many former Republic of Ireland internationals are now in charge of any of England’s 92 League clubs following Mick McCarthy’s departure from Cardiff on Saturday.

Wes Canoelahan

There was a very sweet story in the Norwich Evening News recently about a diehard Norwich City supporter by the name of Jonathan Thurston who emigrated to Canada back in 2012.

He’s been back home on holidays the last few weeks, though, and intended going to a few of the club’s games. “If they win perhaps I’ll have to move back,” he said, so if he was at Stamford Bridge on Saturday to see their 0-7 mullering, you sense he’ll never leave Canada again.

The best bit of the story, though, was that Jonathan has restored a battered old canoe that he bought cheap, painted it canary yellow and green, and then asked fellow Norwich fans to name it.

“I nearly called it Carrow Row’d and Malky Mackayak was another good one - but as soon as somebody said Wes Canoelahan, I knew that was the one.”

It’d make you wistful, though, for the Hoolahan man, now doing his thing for Cambridge United six months short of his 40th birthday. He retired from international football in 2018, and Ireland have had to paddle their own, well, Canoelahan without him ever since.

Word of Mouth

“Two words: Viva Ronaldo, goodnight!”

Robbie Savage was so excited by Cristiano’s winner against Atalanta, he forgot how to count.

“People want things immediately, but everything needs time. You cannot cook a good dish if you don’t spend time in the kitchen. So, take time.”

Pep Guardiola insisting that 19-year-old Cole Palmer isn’t fully baked yet, despite the pressure to serve him up week in, week out.

“I would say Mo’s left foot is better, Cristiano may be better in the air and with his right foot. Speed-wise, both are quick and desperate to score goals. But I’m not too interested in comparing, sorry.”

Jurgen Klopp reluctant to compare Salah and Ronaldo, but doing it any way.

Sleepless in Manchester

Atalanta appeared to run out of steam against Manchester United in the Champions League last week, ending up losing 3-2 having led 2-0.

Could fatigue have been an issue? Possibly. Particularly in light of a fellow guest at their Manchester hotel reporting that the fire alarm went off six times on the eve of the game, between four and seven in the morning.

“I don’t think it was a casual incident,” said a highly suspicious Roksana Malinovskyi, wife of Atalanta midfielder Ruslan. “Such a welcome from local people is terrible … I hope the same thing will happen in a hotel in Italy.”

You sense the United lads might possibly have a sleepless night in Bergamo come Tuesday week.

More Word of Mouth

“I’m not surprised, I’m not that great an individual player.”

Bayern Munich’s Joshua Kimmich on not making the shortlist for the Ballon d’Or. Humble, that lad.

“Lukaku was sold for €115m and we got Dzeko for free. On the pitch, there isn’t much difference.”

Inter Milan CEO Beppe Marotta feeling a bit chuffed after lucratively swapping Romelu for Edin and not noticing the difference.

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