On The Sidelines

It's not been the best of years for Lennox Lewis's manager Frank Maloney, but things had seemed to be going well of late with his best-known client putting a run of fights against men with psychiatric disorders behind him and being transformed into a credible contender for Evander Holyfield's crown.

Last week, however, the Englishman was far from happy about trade paper Boxing News refusing to accept an advert for the forthcoming Herol Graham-Vinnie Pazienza fight at Wembley Arena on December 6th on the rather bizarre grounds, in boxing that is, of morals.

Apparently, the paper has rejected the inclusion of the fight poster which depicts Graham nude, apart from boxing gloves, hiding his vital areas, and "Devil" Pazienza running through fire from hell, blood dripping from the severed heads of two women he is carrying in each hand. "They've rejected it on moral grounds," fumed Maloney. "Boxing News was happy to increase its sales by showing gory photos of Mike Tyson biting Evander Holyfield's ear, to show the lump of ear on the ring canvas, but they turn down a simple boxing poster."

Frank Bruno, meanwhile, another fine representative of his noble art who apparently takes his work home with him, has decided that he wants to "give something back to boxing".

This, you might be forgiven for thinking, is a hint that he is going to steer clear of the sport from now on - but no, big Frank has applied to the British Boxing Board of Control for a licence to become both a trainer and a promoter.

"You don't spend a lifetime in boxing without learning a bit about the business, so I'm not going into this wet behind the ears," said Bruno this week.

Of course you'd think that you couldn't pay tax all your life without learning a thing or two about that either, and yet there was Bruno before the election threatening to head off to Switzerland, a country with far higher taxes than Britain, if Labour got back into power. Now he wants to help guide other people's careers. Just the break that boxing needed, eh?

There was good news for the Argentinian football team this week with coach Daniel Passarella, generally considered to be a strict disciplinarian, announcing on Thursday that his players could have sex with their wives during next year's World Cup.

Passarella, who has banned the wearing of ear-rings and refuses to pick long-haired players, said the only condition was that sex did not take place in the team hotel.

"We will impose some limits and, of course, we will not permit it in the team's hotel, but there will be no objections if they rent a house, or look for somewhere else to do it," he said.

A brief note of congratulations to Longneck, a publication produced for Guinness Ireland and distributed free in order to promote sales of Budweiser. Included in the first issue is an article on sports injuries by Howard Johnson in which Paul McGrath is referred to as the "much travelled `Irish' footballer" - the single quote marks around the word Irish being included in the original piece. Still, that what you have to expect when an `Irish' company contracts out its promotional work to an English publisher.

It's long been a tradition in sports journalism to bandy about military jargon when describing competitive action but, thankfully, few people tend to see the two activities, sport and warfare that is, as being genuinely related.

The Swiss, however, have decided to group them together in one government department which shall henceforth be known as the "Swiss Department for Defence, Protection Of The Population and Sport".

At the time of the writing, we've been unable to ascertain whether the department's top job is likely to go to a General Franco-type - military strongman who likes his football - or a Roy Keane-type - great sportsman who is always ready for a bit of a scrap - type but watch this space.

Most rugby clubs are busy bankrupting themselves in the pursuit of success just now, but the Old Street Onians, a London club who play their home games on a council pitch on Hackney Marshes, have found a low-budget way to improve their fortunes.

Having had a Feng Shui adviser, Mao Ng, in to assess the club's overall well-being, the committee have asked the council for permission to change the lie of the pitch from north-south to east west. That, apparently, will allow the team's energies to flow far more smoothly.

While potential revenues from television continue to skyrocket for the big football clubs, the plight of more marginal sports has been highlighted in Germany where the national table tennis federation has agreed to pay for coverage.

The sport's governing body in Germany, the DTTB, will pay slightly more than £200,000 to the DSF sports channel next year in return for guaranteed live coverage of 12 Bundesliga matches.

Please send any correspondence to On The Sidelines, Sports Dept, The Irish Times, 11-15 D'Olier Street, Dublin 2 or e-mail emalone@irish-times.ie