AMONG THE motley collection of bikers, skaters, joggers, speed- walkers and dog-draggers on the Clontarf promenade on Sunday morning were six middle-aged men of various girths and garb who looked a little displaced.
It was almost 11.30 as they assembled opposite Foley’s, one or two of them indulging in some half-hearted stretches as they prepared for the Long March – well, as far as the Bull Island and back.
They didn’t look physically fit, because they weren’t, but they did seem reasonably clear of head, which, surprisingly, they were, having spent the previous evening with their wives, girlfriends or, in Shanghai Jimmy’s case, on his Sweeney Todd, at home playing Solitaire.
The idea of a dry Saturday earning brownie points had been floated by Vinny Fitzpatrick as part of a cunning plan to clear the decks for a smorgasbord of Sunday sport, plentiful betting opportunities and numerous pints of Uncle Arthur.
Between the GAA, the gee-gees, the golf, the petrol-heads in Monaco and Indianapolis and the Premier League, there was 10 hours of sport on the goggle-box and Vinny felt there was merriment to be had, and money made.
“Get the bets on early Saturday lads, do the family stuff either side of the rugby and then tell the missus about the healthy walk on Sunday morning ahead of a few quiet pints in Foley’s. Sure, we can’t lose,” he said.
Aware that the needle in his Betfair account was leaning towards empty and his cash reserves were listing in the shallow end, Vinny had applied himself diligently before placing his wagers.
He’d opted for a €20 double on Mastercraftsman and Again in the Irish 2,000 and 1,000 Guineas, and had another score on Scunthorpe at 2 to 1 to win the League One play-off, chiefly because a crew of lads who supported The Iron met in Foley’s on the first Monday of every month.
Vinny also went high on the number of goals to be scored on final day of the Premier League; 25 or more and he’d make a tenner a goal, 24 or fewer and it would cost him a tenner a time. “That’s a cert, as there’ll be 30 at least,” he said to himself.
Fingertips quivering, as they always did when he had a bet, Vinny coupled the Derry and Tipperary footballers in a €20 win double and laid Jensen Button to win the Monaco Grand Prix.
For the hike to the Bull Wall and back, time passed quickly, and not just because of the distracting views which happened upon the lads every 50 yards or so – Brennie, in particular, was severely sidetracked every time a tanned speed-walker zipped past.
Vinny kept spirits up by playing a name game involving famous footballers. “Let’s say I say Alan Shearer; the next name must begin with the first letter ‘S’. Someone then says Stan Bowles, for example, so the next player comes up with a player starting with a ‘B’. It’s easy, fun and also two euro a pop. Last man standing wins’.”
Fran cleaned up in round one with Bobby Zamora; Macker’s Matthew Upson then left everyone stumped before Vinny silenced his friends with Niall Quinn.
On the return leg, they changed the theme to movie stars, and here Kojak and Brennie, both cinema anoraks, dominated.
The crew were glowing with perspiration, and gleaming with smiles, as they pushed open the lounge door of Foley’s and entered a dark, familiar den.
The motorsport was on one of the tellies and the track temperature in Monaco showed it was over 40 degrees.
“Time to cool down ourselves, lads,” grinned Vinny as he lifted the first pint of the day and called a toast. “To our own Survival Sunday,” he grinned.
As the glasses were raised, Macker coughed and stood. “I’d like to raise another toast, if I may,” he said solemnly. “Among us, we have someone who has come through a heck of a lot in recent months.
“He’s got engaged, married and is now about to become a first-time father. In the middle of all that, he gave us all a health scare.”
Vinny looked down at his battered Reebok runners and felt his cheeks burn as Macker continued.
“Through all this massive lifestyle changes, he has retained his good humour, selflessness and thirst for two of life’s great pleasures, gargle and gambling. Even today, he brightened up our little walk with his diversionary tactics.
“Vinny, we thought it was time we showed our appreciation for all that you do for us and also offered our congratulations on your news with Angie,” he added, reaching into the back pocket of his jeans and extracting an envelope moist with sweat.
“This is from the lads,” said Macker.
Vinny gingerly opened the envelope and almost fell off his stool as he saw what was inside: two tickets for Everton versus Chelsea in the FA Cup final at Wembley the following Saturday.
“God knows we’re all aware what Everton means to you. It’s alright for us Man U and Liverpool heads; we’re used to winning and being in finals. You’re not, not anymore anyway.
“So go there and have a great day. Oh yeah, we have booked two tickets for a flight out on Saturday morning, back that night, in time for a nightcap if I’m not mistaken,” said Macker.
As Vinny held the tickets in his pudgy fingers, his eyes glassed over. When Everton last played in the FA Cup final, in 1995 against Man United, his old man, Finbarr, had broken the bank to get two tickets so they could go to Wembley.
It had been the last time they had seen Everton together and the memory of the day, Paul Rideout’s winning goal, his old man’s unbridled joy at the final whistle, remained vivid.
It was Finbarr who had infused Vinny with an undying love for Everton. His genes were forever blue and perhaps, just perhaps, come mid-December, the bonny baby Fitzpatrick might carry on the Goodison torch.
Vinny wiped away the salty tears which were trickling down his cheeks. “Right, you share of lousers,” he sniffed. “One of youse is coming to Wembley with me. Get an empty pint glass, a pen and a beer mat. It’s time for a draw.”
With that, there was a roar from the telly above. Scunthorpe had just scored against Millwall. “This could be a day of all days,” thought Vinny, feeling that familiar tingle in his fingers and toes.
Bets of the Week
2ptsArmagh to beat Tyrone in Ulster SFC (17/10, Paddy Power)
1ptMan Utd to beat Barcelona in extra-time in Champions League final (10/1, Boylesports)
Vinny's Bismarck
1pt LayShane Lowry to be top Irishman at European Open (8/1, Betfair, liability 8pts)
