And it would have been the real thing if they allowed Luke Fitgerald’s legal try against France and if you don’t count Mike Phillips’ illegal one. But let’s just enjoy it

MID WAY through last Saturday’s epic first-half performance by Ireland, in the wild chaos of celebrating Tommy Bowe’s wonderful try, I felt a poke on my shoulder and heard the unmistakable tones of an Englishman saying to me.

“Do you intend to stand up throughout the entire match?”

I could only respond with “Well, if this continues, yes.”

“Well, I can’t see,” said the man.

“Well, I don’t know whether you’ve noticed, but we’re not at a piano recital,” I retorted.

He was not best pleased with that remark and it seemed like at any minute I could be embroiled in an off-the-pitch rolling maul with a Nigel from across the water.

Mind you the way things were going for England, if that had materialised he was the one more likely to incur the wrath of the Gardaí. It was hard to distinguish whether he was more annoyed with me, Bowe, or his seat, especially as he kept examining it to check if it was the right one.

Martin Johnson, presumably, was looking down on the pitch doing exactly the same thing with his team.

We’ve enjoyed some memorable victories over England recently, but having grown up enduring the pulverising brawls that usually accompanied England whopping Ireland, home and away, how fitting it was that Ireland finished this year’s championship of all years, by beating them by an, ahem, cricket score.

Even before kick-off there seemed to be something special in the air. The expectation and optimism of the thousands of travelling Swing LowEnglish, matched by the not-entirely-quietly-confident Irish on their mission to host, rather than attend the after-match party.

Ireland’s mental approach was simple, focused and ruthless and whatever they drew on to want this so much more than England, it should be bottled and brought to New Zealand next autumn.

There was just no chance England were going home as Grand Slam champions. You’d wonder if both sides had been aiming for the same prize, would Ireland’s approach have been any different?

From now on maybe they should pretend every match they play goes some way towards preventing England winning a Grand Slam.

The tournament as a whole this year has been all about the scrum, the breakdown and, of course, the referees, some of whom have managed to confuse the bejaysus out of as many players as spectators.

But to quote another confusing man, “going forward” what were the key moments of the championship?

The traditional stats, opinions, comments, interviews and views may offer a conventional perspective, but there follows the definitive Six Nations Best 2011.

Best Scrum?

Ireland’s first against England when it looked like the whole island was packing down against eight little white mice. What frontrow problem?

Worst Scrum?

Every other one.

Best Lineout?

That has to be the Welsh ball boy’s quick thinking against Ireland when he spotted the Scottish touchjudge was looking at himself on the stadium big-screen and off-loaded deftly to Matthew Rees, who took it from the wrong place anyway. Let it go! Sorry!

Best Tackle?

Nick Easter for not preventing O’Driscoll’s 25th and record-breaking touch-down last week. Well done Nick!

Best Pass?

All the forward ones which resulted in no-tries for Ireland, especially Gordon D’Arcy’s for Luke Fitzgerald’s opening no-try against France, which was flagged by Wayne Barnes on the touch-line (still don’t think it was forward).

Best Kick?

This will have to go to Toby Flood for his mis-timed boo-boo last week. Not only was it a shocker, given his form with the boot up to that point, but Ireland went down the other end and scored a few minutes later.

Best Punt?

I’ll resist the temptation for a gag here and go for a tie between Ronan O’Gara’s dink off the outside of the right boot followed by the trickle into touch and his arcing spiral over Dvid Strettle’s extended, reaching arms which was bordering on cruel.

Best Catch?

Keith Earls’ catch from an early onslaught of up-and-unders from Flood. Ooops, scratch that. That didn’t actually happen.

Best Dive?

There was a choice of many swallow efforts from the shy and retiring Chris Ashton, but my favourite is the one under the posts against France, mainly because it was called back for a forward pass by Ireland’s George Clancy. England must be really sick of us! Revenge for the Barnes’ call, maybe?

Best Moment to Savour?

There are a few to choose from here. Paul O’Connell and Donncha O’Callaghan doing their Moss Keane impression by hacking the ball up the pitch and terrifying the opposing fullback Ben Foden in the chase.

O’Gara and Ashton’s set-to when it looked like they wanted to swap shirts before the final whistle and finally for consistency and skill with a razor in an otherwise disappointing campaign for Scotland – Dan Parks and his extraordinary sideburns.

And so another campaign bites the dust. Maybe not the best for quality or scintillating tries, but can we really complain about a championship that saw Ireland winning an Irish grand slam or at least a slam that was grand? Which of course includes victories against Italy, Scotland and England, plus wins against France (if you count the legal Luke Fitzgerald try) and Wales (if you don’t count the illegal Mike Phillips try).

In which case we really should ask the RFU if they’d like us to take some of those eh “Special Edition” Grand Slam Champions T-shirts off their hands. Isn’t it mind-boggling what beating England does for your perspective? Let’s enjoy it while we can!