Let's have a little more imagination please

LockerRoom/Tom Humphries: I've been under house arrest for the past few weeks and I've begun to see the world differently. On Saturday night, for instance, I realised there is a whole new generation of hideous young people out there who can make the nation shiver and say "aw yuck".

From the slimey to the ridiculous, just how do they find these people and pack them into the cruel and unusual punishment that is The Lyrics Board?

Soccer has gone missing, of course. You're stuck in the house for weeks and there's no soccer on TV. What are we supposed to do, make conversation? About what? There's no soccer.

With my nose pressed against the window (it's a very small house) I've gazed out at the summer rain for five days on end and I've noticed that every third car which passes has Dublin flags hanging out of it. This is the most exciting thing to have happened in a long time.

On Friday, when the Evening Herald arrived there was a 12-page supplement devoted to the Dubs. If the Herald has noticed it, you know it's got to be big. For our information and entertainment the Herald included an old-fashioned, full colour picture of the current Dubs team.

(Remember the simple times when All-Ireland Sunday would bring forth full-page colour pictures of all the teams in the Sunday Press and Sunday Independent? And there was a time before the advent of the elegant doctor of gaeldom, Paddy Downey, when All-Ireland Monday meant even The Irish Times would get caught up in the fever of the occasion with four pars headlined: "Catholic Bishop attends GAA event". )

The Herald pull-out picture showed the lengths to which the new Dubs will go to entertain. No mere bunch of pretty boys these. Senan Connell for some reason has his hand on Paul Curran's knee. Paul, who looks as if he isn't wearing any shorts, is staring straight ahead with a look of horror on his face. Senan seems to be crying out in exultation. Isn't this frank sort of public display of affection the sort of thing the GAA needs to drag it into the new era?

One hopes that the mistakes of 1995 won't be made again by the GAA. Back then Jason Sherlock almost single-handedly set the capital alight. He was the excitement that the GAA in Dublin badly needed. And they poured water on him and stamped him out until he was nothing but a glowing ember.

The chance has come around again. This city yearns for something to get excited about, it longs for heroes of its own. The great wastelands of suburbia need something to love about life in Dublin. This team has beaten Meath and Kildare and the city is already crazed with excitement.

Let's take advantage this time.

The signs aren't great. This weekend the GAA should have acknowledged that Dublin in Croke Park is a spectacle all on its own, should have realised that the Hill, all covered in blue on a summer's day, is something special, something that kids especially take with them. Forget dividing it up into four equal allocations of tickets. Go with the Zeitgeist.

Culchies are standing all week behind their oxen and ploughs anyway. Let them sit down on Sunday and eat their sandwiches in peace. We'll stand on the Hill with our fish and chips.

And let us learn from Tommy Lyons. Tommy has a mouth that could go to the European championships next week, so quickly does it run. And does the world cave in? Do the skies darken and do the seas swell? No, he gets people talking. People love him or hate him but they don't ignore them.

After the years of fearful teams and managers who think they can get their players to perform in front of 70,000 people but are afraid to let them open their mouths, let's enter the Lyons era, when we let the personality come through with the play.

Let us hear a Kerry accent other than Micheal Ó Muircheartaigh's. Let's outgrow the gobshite superstition of "whatever you say lads, say nothing".

Let's have more games too. Give the winter and the spring to the clubs and have a busy inter-county summer whereby players aren't paid but they are well looked after, well compensated.

Every indication is that the appetite is out there for more games, more innovation. We have quarter-finals now and a final-four series which is exciting. Why not some provincial round robins and a last 16 series? Be adventurous.

With The Lyrics Board on Saturday nights people feel a need to get out and meet normal people in the fresh air the next day.

Take away the O'Neill's monopoly on jersey-making too. Several clubs I know have switched quietly to Errea, the Italian company. Why not open the whole thing up? Let a big county like Dublin sell its merchandising rights to the highest bidder and let the GAA still take its wad per use of logo. The games, the gear and the accompanying leisure wear will be marketed aggressively on the GAA's behalf.

You know the ad with Eric Cantona and the lads playing away in the boat while Elvis sings A Little Less Conversation? Well imagine the same imagination going into a GAA version. Sure it's a smaller market but it's still lucrative . . . it's all out there. The next half decade should be a time of great advances in the city. Because of the quiet work of good people we have good young hurlers coming through. We have an under-21 football side who are provincial champions. We have a senior football team who have caught the imagination of the city. And the FAI has taken soccer away from RTÉ screens.

So let's start pouring the money into coaching and development. Let's start hitting the Government to abandon the self-aggrandising Bertie Bowl, to build something smaller and more convenient and to channel funding into regional sports. And let's make Dublin big for the GAA again.

This column is under house arrest, by the way, for being the only person in the city to see merit in the idea of dividing up Dublin. So crucify me, but I still think dividing the city for administration purposes would be a good idea.

Anything. The city is parched. Let's have some action and a little less conversation please.