Mary Hannigan/TV View: It was, of course, great to see Geordan Murphy back on our screens on Saturday, after that nasty leg break last year, but while all the initial signs indicated he'd lost none of his old swagger and confidence, he stumbled at the very first hurdle of substance placed in front of him.

It might be harsh to say that Geordan Murphy let his country down on Saturday, but, sadly, no other conclusion can be reached.

And it wasn't even a crunching tackle from Anne Robinson on The Weakest Link's rugby special.

"In the children's TV series Trumpton the fire team, led by Captain Flack, comprised Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and who?"

A cinch. Who hasn't heard of Grubb? Geordan Murphy, evidently. Indeed, if you said to him, "Here is the clock, the Trumpton clock, telling the time steadily, sensibly, never too quickly, never too slowly," he'd probably call the Garda.

He wrinkled his forehead, looked around for inspiration, even sought help from Will Greenwood. None was offered.

"Eh," he said, ". . . Spew?"

"No, Geordan," screeched Robinson, "Grubb!" Until Saturday this couch had never once been ashamed to be Irish.

For failing to know Grubb, Murphy was, deservedly, voted off. "I was just shocked he didn't know the name of the firemen," as Martin Bayfield put it, "a schoolboy error."

By then, though, Thomas Castaignede already had it in for Geordan. Or "Jordan", as he repeatedly wrote on his Weakest Link card.

Robinson noted this error. "Who were you thinking of, Thomas?" she asked. Thomas Castaignede grinned as only Thomas can grin. He turned to Geordan and said: "I wish you look like her."

Geordan smiled a smile that said: "I'm kinda glad I don't, Thomas, I have to shower with Malcolm O'Kelly."

In fairness to Murphy, he wasn't the only one who let his nation down. Bayfield, for example, completed a particularly poor month for England.

"Martin, what is the full name shared by the Belfast author who wrote The Lonely Passion of Judith Hearne and a former ITV football commentator?"

"Mark Lawrenson," he replied.

And France had nothing to smile about either.

"Thomas, in English criminal law the letters GBH stand for grievous bodily what?"

"Actors?"

"No, Thomas, 'harm'."

Only Brian Moore - the former England international, not the author of Judith Hearne or the former commentator - held his head high when he was voted off.

"If you were prime minister," Robinson asked him, "what would you like to see happen?"

"I'd like to ban ginger people from being on television," he said. If his head, by then, hadn't been hanging in shame, Geordan Murphy would have nodded in agreement.

As for Saturday's affair at Lansdowne Road . . . well, by the time the television reception was restored after Hurricane Huffy had its evil way there was barely time to hear the RTÉ and BBC panels compare notes on Brian O'Driscoll's yellow card.

Brent Pope: "Yellow cards have been given for less."

George Hook: "I think it was close to a red card."

Conor O'Shea: "Nowhere near a red card."

Hook: "Will we settle for a brown card?"

O'Shea: "No, we'll agree to differ."

Meanwhile, Jonathan Davies: "I don't think there was anything wrong with that tackle."

Martin Johnson: "That was a great tackle, a great tackle."

Jeremy Guscott: "That was a perfect tackle."

Is it any wonder some of us are confused by the laws of rugby?

Anne Robinson had even asked Greenwood to help us by explaining the game.

"Briefly," he said, "it's two teams of 15-a-side who try to get a ball up the opposition's end."

She grinned. Castaignede giggled. Bayfield buried his face in his hands. Greenwood blushed.

As Ted Walsh almost did when he recalled his first lusty brush with Arkle. "They left me hold him (after he won the Irish Grand National at Fairyhouse) while they were washing down his legs. I thought all my birthdays had come together," he beamed.

And we thought you were real hard and tough? "I am," said Ted, "except with horses; I'm in love with them."

Just as well Ted hadn't heard veteran commentator Peter O'Sullevan describe the deceased four-legged legend as "no oil painting" earlier on RTÉ and Channel 4's preview of Thursday's Gold Cup.

Ted wouldn't have stood for the slur. Most of his contemporaries might have had posters of Gina Lollobrigida on their bedroom walls, not Ted.

There's probably a tree near Fairyhouse with a heart etched into the bark, inscribed "T loves A". Gina never stood a chance.