Behold, the No-Bone-To-Pick All-Ireland hurling final.
This hasn’t happened in a while. For all of Limerick’s gaiscí, their particular brand of rampaging dominance got old for the neutral fairly quickly after 2018. No offence intended, lads – but there’s no denying that the air feels fresher somehow this weekend.
Either Cork will win or Clare will win. One way or the other, it’s hard to imagine anyone outside the counties involved having overly strong feelings on who they prefer. It’s been 19 years for Cork, 11 years for Clare. If you’re begrudging either county a magic carpet ride tomorrow, you probably have deeper issues than a hurling match is going to solve.
Either that, or you’re from Tipperary, in which case may your god go with you.
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To revel in it just that little bit more, herewith find 40 reasons why nobody can be annoyed at Cork winning or Clare winning.
1 “We’re going to do it.”
2 “After all, I really love you/After all that we’ve been through . . .”
3 Patrick Collins jumping in front of the cannonball in the semi-final to save from Aaron Gillane. Then saving Seamus Flanagan’s follow-up even though he didn’t have to. Then roaring like a bullock to celebrate.
4 Eibhear Quilligan’s four first-half saves against Kilkenny, without which the comeback couldn’t have happened. One of these goalkeepers is likely going to win his first All Star. More luck to him, whoever he is.
5 Denise O’Sullivan pucking around on Páirc Uí Chaoimh one day and then burying the opener against France the next. Knocknaheeney abú.
6 Shane O’Donnell openly talking about becoming an astronaut a good 25 years after most boys grow out of talking about becoming an astronaut.
7 JBM hanging off the fence in front of Hill 16 in 1999, hoisting the Liam McCarthy above him.
8 JBM’s flick v Galway in 1983.
9 “Six-foot-two, eyes of blue, Jimmy Barry-Murphy, we love you!”
10 Ger Loughnane the player, Sisyphus in sideburns.
11 Ger Loughnane the manager, Moses crossed with George S Patton.
12 Ger Loughnane the pundit, bazookas loaded, maniac grin at the ready. Nobody ever touched the remote when Loughnane was on.
13 The Sultans Of Ping FC.
14 Martin Hayes.
15 Microdisney.
16 Sharon Shannon.
17 RecordWatch. Patrick Horgan will retake his position as the all-time leading scorer in the championship with his third point of the final. He (704) and TJ Reid (706) have put an ocean between them and the next on the list, previous record-holder Joe Canning (567). It could be decades before we see anyone get near them.
18 If Adam Hogan trots over to take up Horgan, we’ll have Hoggy being marked by The Hog. Perfect.
19 Hogan was five when Horgan made his debut for Cork. Five!
19 Des Lynam.
20 Graham Norton.
21 Michael Cusack.
22 Pádraig Ó Chaoimh.
23 Cork beat Limerick twice this summer. Limerick beat Clare twice. Clare beat Cork the only time they played them. Round and round it goes. Where it stops, nobody knows.
24 Marty Morrissey roaring “Holy Moses” as Domhnall O’Donovan’s point from the ends of the earth forces a replay in 2013.
25 O’Donovan lives in Madison, Wisconsin now. He works for Kerry Group. That was the only point he ever scored for the Clare seniors. Earlier in the 2013 championship, they had trounced Laois in a qualifier on a day when 14 of the 15 starting players had scored, including the goalkeeper. O’Donovan kept his for the final. Mad sport.
26 Cork have 16 goals in the 2024 championship. Clare have 12. Limerick’s goal totals for their four-in-a-row were 3, 8, 8 and 9. This is fun, yes?
27 Again, no offence intended, Limerick people. Different strokes.
28 Keith Wood.
29 Ronan O’Gara.
30 Anthony Foley.
31 Peter O’Mahony.
32 Tony Kelly trying for years to carry overmatched Clare teams back to an All-Ireland final, only for it to work out the other way around in the end.
33 Seamus Harnedy, paw in the air, taking years of physical punishment as the main ball-winner in the Cork attack. Now just 70 minutes from Valhalla.
34 Dalo’s Hurling Podcast.
35 Reggie, from the Blackrock Road.
36 Brian Lohan: “It’s a hard place to be. Intercounty hurling is tough. It’s a tough, ignorant, ruthless, brutal game.”
37 Lohan, the king of kings. All those old Clare soldiers have their place in the firmament. Dalo is everyone’s favourite uncle, Jamesie is admired by all. Davy – sure, it’s always complicated with Davy. Lohan is revered. Imagine what a fifth All-Ireland would mean.
38 Pat Ryan: “It would be impossible to quell [the hype] down in Cork, to be honest with you. We get confident after winning a Tiddlywinks match.”
39 Ryan has been through some stuff to get here. He was diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukaemia in 2018, which he characterises as not as bad as it sounds. Still and all, he had to go through chemotherapy and a full-on tablet regime to beat it into remission. An All-Ireland final would have felt a long distance off.
40 Not this weekend, though. It’s here.
Happy All-Ireland hurling final, to all who celebrate.
