Among all the wonderful caddie stories in the annals of golf, remarkably few have emanated from this fair land. But we may not have to wait long for the imbalance to be corrected, given a rapidly-growing tradition down at the Old Head of Kinsale, which is home to the country's biggest caddie school. Noel Hurley, a native of Kinsale, was appointed caddiemaster before the course opened in the summer of 1997. And in the best traditions of the caddieshack, his language can be wonderfully expressive when relating some priceless stories about his charges. A caddie complement of more than 200, 34 of them full-time, are set for next month's opening of the new season. And their ranks will be augmented during the summer by students, some from as far away as Dungarvan in Co Waterford. They will live locally, either in a caravan park or in bed-and-breakfast accommodation, and are unlikely to be short of work.
While the standard charge is £25 plus a tip, many receive extremely generous bonuses. For instance, one has been helped gain a scholarship to a leading American university; another got a $6,000 cheque towards his education, while colleagues have been invited to the US to caddie there for American-based Old Head members. In fact, 12 Old Head caddies are currently working in the US, six in California and six in Florida, as personal caddies to members, all expenses paid. One of them was actually collected at Cork Airport by private jet. And Hurley himself has been a regular visitor to California, Las Vegas, Florida and New York, where he has been wined and dined by appreciative clients.
He talked with affection about Big Tom, "a mighty man for pints", and of Leprechaun Danny, "he sang in Carnegie Hall, you know". The caddiemaster went on: "The only problem about Big Tom is that our visitors find it very difficult to understand his fierce Cork accent. I remember one day when another caddie, the Doc, remarked, `Noel, I was out on the course with four Japanese and Big Tom, and I was the only one speaking English'."
Then there was the explanation from a smart Dungarvan lad regarding the spectacular caves which go through the Head from below the seventh hole on the east to the 12th on the west. "Are those man-made caves," asked a rather naive visitor. "Indeed they are," came the reply. "My uncle Larry, a mighty chiseller, did a job on them."
Another memorable exchange took place on the short 11th, which is known as Raven's Run. Why was the hole so called? "Because crows can't take off into the strong winds," the visitor was told, dead-pan, by the same young man. Meanwhile, handsome rewards bring a certain financial independence. Which explains another caddie's reaction when, on a particularly wild day, one golfer from a two-ball decided to quit after nine holes but his partner insisted on battling on. With that, the caddie turned to his wealthy but resolute employer and pleaded: "Please sir, if I pay you will you let me go home." A role reversal, worthy of the finest caddie traditions.
"IT'S nice to see them hitting six-iron into a par-five for the third shot rather than for the second shot." - Peter Oosterhuis on CBS last Saturday when Davis Love hit driver, one-iron, six-iron into the long 17th at rain-soaked Riviera CC.
Dominant hand
Former right-handed hurling rivals Eddie Keher and Tony Wall expressed the view here in recent months that if they were beginning golf all over again they would look seriously at playing left-handed. Both liked the idea of having their dominant hand at the top of the club, and to support this view Wall noted that Johnny Miller (photograph), who is naturally left-handed, did a fair job as a right-handed player.
For his part, Miller agrees that a left-handed person should play the game right-handed. But he goes on to suggest that all players should do likewise, whatever their natural preference. "The golf swing is not a natural one anyway, so any change can be made readily with no risk of psychological damage," he says.
"With equipment, it's fairly easy to find good left-handed clubs now, but there are still more options for righthanders. And instruction-wise, it's easier to read about the golf swing and take lessons from pros whose teaching eyes are accustomed to looking at right-handers. "Either way, it takes only about a month to become comfortable with the change. It's not like forcing a left-hander to write right-handed. I mean, look at how many switch hitters have always been in baseball." Much as Miller is to be respected as one of the game's leading analysts, I prefer the hurling argument regarding the dominant hand. Especially after my recent experience of playing with the brilliant former Dublin and Leinster hurler, Norman Allen, who can whack a fair golf ball playing right-handed, with the right hand on top of the club. Just like the celebrated professional, Sewsunker Sewgolum.
Thread gingerly
One of our admirably observant readers, Jim Cantwell from Dun Laoghaire, has come up with a fascinating little item regarding the Ryder Cup. And it illustrates how the biennial showpiece can be exploited by unenlightened, commercial interests.
Cantwell's contribution is a drip-mat from Gordon's, the gin people. It poses the question: "They've all represented Ireland with distinction - but which one hasn't yet made the cut for the international cup? (a) Padraig Harrington (b) Paul McGinley (c) Darren Clarke (d) Christy O'Connor Jnr." As golf's beloved seed-merchant turns in his grave, what pray, is the international cup? Fortunately, the answer - "Paul McGinley has yet to make his Ryder Cup debut" - would have averted any potential pub row. But who makes up these things?
Pair of aces
"I prayed that before I died I'd get a hole-in-one," said 82-year-old Florida resident Evelyn Tucci. Which would suggest that Ms Tucci is not among those cranks who would have us believe that golf is the devil's invention, despite such admirable devotees as Dublin's Bishop Kavanagh. And lo, it came to pass that in a recent round at the Crystal Lake CC, the 32-handicapper had not one, but two aces. The first of them came at the 112-yard second, where her four-wood found the target: "I wouldn't believe it until one of the other players shouted to me, `Evelyn, come over here and see. It's in the cup'."
Three holes later, with the wind blowing hard, she faced a 157yard par three with her driver. "I saw it heading towards the green, but I never imagined," she said. Neither did her husband of 60 years. "I don't think he could believe it," she said after phoning him with the news. Given odds of 67 million to one against two aces in the one round, however, even he is now inclined to the view that God is most definitely a golfer.
This day in golf history
On March 3rd, 1946, Ben Hogan won the St Petersburg Open, his third of 13 tournament victories that year. But exactly three years later, on March 3rd, 1949, he was flown to El Paso, Texas, for emergency surgery after blood clots were discovered in his abdomen and crushed left leg. He was reported to be in good condition following the surgery for injuries which were sustained in a near-fatal car-crash.
Teaser: A player's tee-shot strikes a tree, resulting in his ball coming to rest within the teeing ground of the hole being played. His ball now lies in such a position that a sprinkler head interferes with his stance. Is the player entitled to relief?
Answer: The rules of golf do not contemplate such a situation. In equity (Rule 1-4), the player is entitled to relief without penalty and must follow the procedure described in Rule 24-2b(I) for a ball which lies through the green. The same principle would apply if there were interference by casual water, ground under repair, etc (Rule 251b(I)) or if the player's ball were embedded in its own pitch-mark (Rule 25-2).
