Compiled by MARY HANNIGAN
Strife in Struga: Sumulikoski pays for disturbing behaviour
BROWSING through Macedoniafootball.com, like you do, a story about national captain Velice Sumulikoski (right) popped up, and an unfortunate enough one too.
The midfielder, who had spells at Ipswich and Preston before moving on to Russian club Sibir Novosibirsk, had an eventful end to 2011, getting himself arrested at a nightclub in his hometown of Struga.
After getting in to an argument with another chap, Sumulikoski then “mocked him and made threats”, so the police were called. “He then insulted the officers and made more threats which led to him being taken to the police station. Once there and appearing visibly drunk, he threatened the officers that he would replace them from their jobs with one phone call . . . and was even willing to pay €100,000 to make that happen.”
Ooops. Not taking kindly to his behaviour, the police charged the player with “disturbing public order, demeaning the police officers and refusing to take a breathalyzer test”.
David Hills, in yesterday’s Observer, had the exact nature of Sumulikoski’s chat with the police: “I own you . . . you are nobody and nothing.”
In fairness, at least he didn’t say: “Do you know who I am?”
Designer football: Luxury table for only €48,500
THE people at 11thegame.com say their goal was simple, “to design the most beautiful football table ever made . . . a luxury table for discerning lovers of the world’s favourite game”. Did they succeed? Well, you have to say, they’ve come mighty close.
The award-winning design made its debut at the 2008 Milan Furniture Fair and was greeted by so many admiring gasps the company behind it decided to develop it for “limited production”. One of its first customers was the Louis Vuitton flagship store in Tokyo – well known football diehards – with the fashion people’s craftsmen back in Paris adapting the handles to cover them in their “trademark leather”. And the Louis Vuitton flower motifs were embossed on the players’ backs and the end of the handles.
The inspiration for the design, we’re told, “was the grandeur and beauty of modern football stadiums”, the players “finished in bright chrome to reflect the status and value of modern-day football stars”.
You can put your order in at 11thegame.com. “Each table is handcrafted to order and takes approximately 12 weeks of careful preparation before delivery and installation . . . we look forward to hearing from you.” Pricing, alas, “starts from €48,500”.
Early shower: Kompany tweet a source of laughter
MANCHESTER City captain Vincent Kompany put Twitter to novel use last week ahead of yesterday’s English FA Cup third-round game when he invited the club’s supporters to “tweet me what you would say on derby day to inspire the team and I will make sure that on the day it makes a difference.”
Using the hashtag #FollowTheCaptain, City fans responded in their droves, the winning entry – “In the stands or on the pitch, we are all Man City together. Wear the shirt with pride, play like we dream” – taking pride of place on the wall of the team’s dressingroom yesterday.
Well, you know what happened Kompany in the 12th minute of the game. So, cue much hilarity on Twitter, eg: #FollowTheCaptain Stay on your feet lads! #FollowTheCaptain to an early shower
Ganso who?
“Ganso? I have never heard of him. I don’t know him, where does he play? What position? I don’t get to Brazil much.”
– Harry Redknapp sort of dismissing rumours he’s about to sign the Santos midfielder.
Bendtner: Brawling
December 17th: “Dear friends, fans, Sunderland and family. The past couple of weeks have seen me involved in several incidents that have attracted much negative attention from the media . . . I am extremely sorry for all of this …. I now promise to concentrate fully on football and only football . . . I in the upcoming time won’t be involved in extracurricular activities – like too many parties . . . greetings, Nicklas.”
January 5th: "Trouble torn Sunderland star Nicklas Bendtner was arrested following an early-morning brawl at a luxury Tyneside hotel. The 23-year-old striker was held by police called to a dust-up at the Gateshead Hilton. Bendtner, currently on bail for an alleged car wrecking spree in Newcastle, was taken away with another 23-year-old before being released." ( Newcastle Chronicle).
Comedy gold: Suarez v Evra
LUIS Suarez, perhaps not too surprisingly, is receiving plenty of support back in Uruguay after his recent woes, one of the country’s television channels even going so far as to re-enact his brush with Manchester United’s Patrice Evra to give an idea of what actually happened between the pair.
A woman, for some reason, plays Suarez in the clip, now starring on YouTube, telling Evra that he “could hide a football under his hair”.
Evra responds by telling Suarez he “could plough a football field with his teeth”.
It’s comedy gold. And just to add to the mirth, Evra is played by a white actor painted black. You’d miss the Black and White Minstrel Show, wouldn’t you?
Publicity stunt?: Adriano still gunning for trouble
REMEMBER Adriano, the Brazilian striker who played for Inter Milan but was never out of trouble, before being shipped back home, where he’s now with Corinthians? Well, he had a quiet enough Christmas, apart from one little incident when he was leaving a nightclub in Rio with four women (yes, just the four) at six in the morning, allegedly accidentally shooting one of them in the hand with his bodyguard’s gun.
Look, it’s happened us all.
The charge is that Adriano was messing around with the gun in the back of his BMW and, unaware that it was loaded, shot the woman in the hand. She needed surgery on the wound, but will be grand, apparently.
The other three women in the car, though, dispute her version of events and are backing Adriano, who insists he never touched the gun. Their allegation? She shot herself in the hand to, well, gain publicity. Eh, it worked. Her hand with a hole in it might even get its own reality show.
Quirky habits: Platt reveals Mancini's unusual method to ward off bad luck
“If you spill wine, he has to stick his fingers in it and dab it behind his ears, like perfume. Apparently, that wards off the bad luck.”
– David Platt on Roberto Mancini’s quirky little habits.
“So we’re in his office after the Liverpool game and I knock over a glass . . . he’s over, from the other side of the room, finger in the wine, dab, dab. I can see Kenny Dalglish and Steve Clarke looking at him as if he’s mad.”
– Platt again. You know, Kenny and Steve might have been right.
“I love syrup. Strawberry syrup. When I drink water, I put syrup in it. It’s something I can’t live without. It’s like an addiction. I swear. That’s my secret.”
– Demba Ba explaining why he can’t stop scoring goals for Newcastle this weather.
“I never, ever used this word in a derogatory way and if it offends anyone then I want to apologise for that.”
– A remorseful Luis Suarez. Kidding.
“Yeah, yeah I know that he smokes, yes. If he was my son I would give him a kick up the arse, but he is not my son.”
– Mario Balotelli continues to test Mancini’s parenting skills.
“I’ve only got on the way I have in life because I am different – and isn’t that brilliant?”
– Joey Barton redefines “brilliant”, entirely.
Fake tan
"When I was playing football, I felt naked without my boots. Now, doing Strictly Come Dancing, I feel naked without fake tan."
– Norman Hunter. Na, Robbie Savage
