TV View/Mary Hannigan:Cliff Thorburn, you might remember, embarked on his famous 147 break at The Crucible back in 1983, potting the final black midway through 1992. Or did it just feel that long?
Whatever, a lot of paint had dried by the time the moustachioed Canadian Grinder cleared the table, sank to his knees and thrust his cue skyward in a triumphantly contented manner.
Last week Ronnie O'Sullivan broke off against Marco Fu.
"Surely he can't do it again," chuckled Dennis Taylor. Six minutes, 30 seconds and 147 later he had. This was roughly the length of time Cliff spent chalking his cue before potting his first red two decades ago and approximately the duration of Peter Ebdon's toilet breaks during his game against Tony Drago last week. Indeed, if you watch Ronnie's break on double speed fast forward on your video it actually ends before it begins.
Funny, while reviewing the tape, this couch noted that just before Ronnie broke off a man in the audience coughed twice (he did too, Brigidines' honour). Was this a signal to the player that if, 390 seconds later, he went for (a) the black, rather than, say (b) play a safety shot, (c) concede the frame or (d) ask Marco if he wanted a go, he'd win himself £147,000? We're saying nothing, not least because Ronnie is well connected in the underworld.
The only sombre note about the achievement was that it had taken 70 seconds longer than Ronnie's 1997 record, a poignant reminder that age, which comes to all of us, is slowing him down. Still, though, fellow player Alan McManus said "it was like watching God", while, back in the studio, Steve Davis compared Ronnie to Zinedine Zidane, prompting Real Madrid president Florentino Perez to put in a £63.8 million bid.
Speaking of unReal. Not for the first time it was Ron Atkinson, on Wednesday night, who found the words to sum up their approach to the game of football: "They're always looking to play hurting balls."
Indeed, a watery-eyed Rio Ferdinand could be seen doubled over, gasping for breath, on several occasions, after Real had ventured forth. As could Alex Ferguson, upon reminding himself that he'd got his board to agree to paying £30 million for the lad.
Bobby Robson, too, was spot on, in his pre-match chat with Des Lynam, when he predicted that "legs will be important tonight". It was a piece of advice that Fabien Barthez took to heart - note how he refused to use his arms, in a constructive manner, when Ronaldo shot roughly in his direction.
A disquieting night, of course, for David Beckham, although Clive Tyldesley told us he had "nothing to prove, other than his claims for a place in the starting 11". Indeed.
And Roy Keane? Thursday night, trust us, was infinitely more troubling.
"Is he beautiful, in the Greek sense," Gerry Ryan asked Eamon Dunphy. Dunphy thought for a moment and then said: "Yes." Quickly adding: "That's a leading ****ing question." Certainly was. Beckham might be comfortable with his "gay icon" status, not sure about our Roy. Beautiful, in a "Manfully Mayfield sense" might have been better.
Brent Pope is, of course, ravishing, in a ruggedly rugby sense, but his face at half-time yesterday, while George Hook stretched his Leinster/chicken analogy to breaking point was bemused, in a bewilderingly baffled sense.
It was largely Tom McGurk's fault. He asked Hook if he had an explanation for the mind-numbing nature of the first half between Leinster and Perpignan (McGurk: "If you want your money back the address is 62 Lansdowne Road, not RTÉ"). Asking Hook if he has an explanation for anything is akin to asking you and me if we would like to win the Lotto. (Mmm, go on then).
Off he went.
"It's in Mrs Beeton's cookery book, recipe: chicken soup. First, catch your chicken - this team has not caught their chicken . . . since this championship started we have consistently said that Leinster do not have half-backs and today the chicken has come home to roost. The outhalf can't kick, the scrumhalf can't kick. That's why they're in the manure they're in."
Second half? Perpignan caught their poulet, stuffed and seasoned Leinster and the final against Toulouse will be played to soundtrack of Les champs d'Athenroi. Meantime, all we can do is offer George these comforting words, as bespoke by Henri IV of France: "If God grants me longer life, I will see to it that no peasant in my kingdom will lack the means to have a chicken in the pot every Sunday."
Everyone but Leinster on a Sunday, that is.
