TV view: No need for prayer, just hymns of praise for indestructible Katie McCabe

Remember when David Beckham broke his metatarsal back in 2002 and was in danger of missing that summer’s World Cup? And The Sun put a photo of his foot on its front page beside the headline “BECK US PRAY”, urging its readers to “lay your hands on David’s foot at noon and make it better”.

Our eyes were sore from the rolling.

It will be to the eternal shame of our country’s papers that not one of them – including this one – put a photo of Katie McCabe’s left foot on their front pages last Thursday morning, urging the nation to lay its hands all over it and pray for its speedy recovery.

The Republic of Ireland captain had, after all, limped out of Arsenal’s Champions League win over Bayern Munich the night before and was later seen on crutches, with a protective boot on said foot, the sight leaving our collective hearts in our collective mouths.

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Would she recover in time for July/August’s World Cup?

On Sunday, Arsenal were playing Manchester City in a humongously important game in the Women’s Super League title race: how would they cope without her?

“Yes,” said Reshmin Chowdhury as she welcomed us to the BBC’s coverage of the game, “that is Katie McCabe out on the pitch, she starts today for Arsenal.”

Rachel Brown-Finnis and Anita Asante could only laugh. Which is often the reaction when McCabe’s name is mentioned, in a sort of a ‘she’s one of a kind, that wan’ way.

She is too. After putting our hearts crossways and then in to our mouths, she was up and running again, a handful of days after looking banjaxed, producing the most Katie McCabe performance in the history of Katie McCabe performances.

The yellow card: Not 10 minutes on the clock and she was booked for bouncing the ball off Chloe Kelly’s head after the player who scored England’s winner in the Euro 2022 final blocked her thrown-in. And she let the referee know precisely how she felt about the decision. “Z!!XG!!FS*&.”

“She has to keep that passion in check,” said our commentator Vicki Sparks, to which all of us replied, “NOOOOO!”

“She plays on the edge,” Asante chuckled, which is precisely where you want her.

The tussle: Her and Kelly had an epic run-in, culminating in McCabe politely suggesting to the City winger that she had dived after one of her tackles. “Z!!XG!!FS*&.”

The positioning: She started at left-back, was switched to the right wing, and returned to a kind of a left-wing-ish-back position in the closing stages. An average day at the office, then.

The assist: After a decidedly messy scramble in the City box, she set up Frida Maanum’s equaliser.

The winner: She told the media after the game that when she rifled home the winning goal from the right-hand corner of the box, the power of her shot left a hole in her boot. And, lest you forget, the foot that inserted the ball in the net was the one in a protective boot on Wednesday night.

The award: The Beeb’s co-commentator Hope Powell chose her as the player of the match. That goal? “The finish was absolutely exquisite,” she purred.

As Boreham Wood crooned after the goal: “We’ve got McCabe, Katie McCabe, I just don’t think you understand, she’s plays out on the wing, she hits it with a zing, we’ve got Katie McCabe.”

The lyrics might need work, but you get the gist.

Poor Chowdhury got dog’s abuse for talking, twice, about “Kirsty McCabe”, but there but for the grace of God go those of us who habitually muddle names, even when not on live telly.

Asante gave her a nudge. “KATIE McCabe coming out with only bangers, as we know her to do – unreal,” she said.

Mind you, the Beeb referring to Arsenal’s Victoria Pelova as “Pavlova” suggests they need to work on their prep.

No matter, the important thing is that we – as in the Republic of Ireland – have Katie McCabe, and as we learned this week, she’s indestructible. From crutches and a protective boot, to sending an Exocet missile in to Manchester City’s net four days later. How could you not laugh? We didn’t even need to lay hands on that foot.