Here’s a new phrase for the Taoiseach to learn: Let he who is without Sim cast the first phone.
Micheál Martin has gone all holier than thou on the issue of mobile phones – not just for children but for political colleagues and political correspondents, too.
On Tuesday, as he peered critically at TDs scrolling away in the chamber, the schoolteacher in him came out and he couldn’t help telling them that they can, and should, do better.
The previous week, at the launch of the policy programme for the European Union presidency, he couldn’t resist remarking that people in the political and media world would be better off if they put their mobile phones away a bit more often.
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Because Micheál would never be caught with his head buried in a phone ...
He gets frustrated when he sees people not paying attention in class. He loses patience and gets cranky.
On Wednesday, during questions on the Government’s digital and artificial intelligence strategy, he was doubly grumpy because nobody was recognising his unerring foresight and general greatness when it came to introducing policies for the betterment of the nation.
And he has also been the subject of a fake video purporting to show him promoting a financial scam.
“This is completely false. Please be vigilant and always take care online,” he said in a post on X, in which he included the fake – hilarious.
“I’ve proven that anyone can earn 40,000 euros at any age with just a phone and 250 euros. This evening you’ll see your first 100,000 euros profit in your account or I’ll personally refund you 10,000 euros,” says a very pasty looking “Taoiseach” in a strange English accent.
“So this is clearly very false material pertaining to myself,” says the real Taoiseach, watching it.
No flies on Micheál.
But back to the subject of banning social-media apps, where he agreed with Malcolm Byrne TD that the views of children and young people must be taken into account when drafting policy.
“We have a history of doing that, in fairness – even before the Department of Children was established. I remember being laughed at back in 2000 when I said we should consult children ... now it’s the norm.”
That’s Micheál, ahead of the posse even then.
And then there was the introduction of the smoking ban. The first in the world, introduced by You Know Who, and a triumph he modestly rarely mentions at every opportunity.
He used it to address reservations about imposing a social-media ban. “With other addictive substances, such as tobacco, people always said that if we banned it, or banned the pack of 10, people would find a way around it. Kids used to get single cigarettes at the time we banned it. We just made it harder.”
The strategy was a success.
And what thanks?
They’re still laughing.
Last week, he talked about the significant challenges posed to young people’s health by unfettered exposure to social media and how the Government took measures “in terms of pouches” in schools.
“And I heard from some teachers that for the first time in a long time they heard children making noise in the corridor again,” he added.
In fairness, TDs never have any difficulties making noise in the corridors.
“It’s kind of incredible that that’s what’s happened,” mused Micheál. “I think all of us in the media world and the political world could take a leaf out of that book and put the mobile phones away.”
On Tuesday, he was still sulking over people making fun of him and those pouches two years ago.
Sinn Féin’s Ruairí Ó Murchú had asked about addictive algorithms and under-16s.
“I would make the point to the deputy, you know – we brought in a restrictions in schools in terms of utilisation of smartphones and you guys lampooned it and attacked it and were giving out about it,” Micheál said.
Ruairí said there could have been better ways of doing it.
“No. There wasn’t like ... There wasn’t a better way of doing it,” bridled Micheál.
Aontú leader Peadar Tóibín hadn’t been impressed by the pouches either. Either that or he’d just come back from Grafton Street.
“Nine-euro socks!”
The Taoiseach shook his head in a ‘This is what I have to put up with’ way.
“Deputy Toíbín was at it as well,” he said plaintively. “We need to be consistent. It worked.”
“You’re havin’ a laugh now,” needled Peadar.
Ruairí asked again about a social-media ban. But the Taoiseach couldn’t get past the phone pouch palaver of 2024.
“It was impactful and it was a start in getting young people out of utilisation.”
Then he looked up at the benches opposite.
“By the way, all of you guys – you should all leave your phones outside the Dáil, you know? Let’s start here. I mean, we’re talking about its pervasive impact. All of you have mobile phones, you know?”
Ó Murchú mumbled his excuse to teacher.
“I’m trying to stay in contact with a committee.”
Micheál looked both disappointed and exasperated.
“You don’t have to – ”
Sigh.
Because, how could Ruairí “miss these words”, sneered Peadar from the bold corner.
The Taoiseach was getting very agitated, just short of hopping from foot to foot. He gestured over at the Sinn Féin TD.
“But look, you just pressed it there now again, you know?”
Leas-Cheann Comhairle John McGuinness intervened.
“They’re multitasking. Give them a chance.”
Ruairí said he was putting the phone away. “As I said, it’s addictive.”
Questions concluded and they moved on to the Second Stage of the Criminal Justice Bill.
Big Jim O’Callaghan, the Minister for Justice, edged along the front bench, ready to take over. Micheál didn’t see him coming.
Jim plonked his files down next to him. He started his speech.
Micheál was oblivious.
McGuinness watched from the Chair.
“Eh, the Taoiseach is on ... is using his phone there.”
Micheál snapped to attention. Flustered, flapping an arm in the air as he swiftly pocketed the offending handset.
“Oh, hahaha, yeah, yeah, yeah!”
Morto.
“I spotted that,” laughed the Minister for Justice. “Well spotted, Leas-Cheann Comhairle.”
“Multitasking. I admire him,” beamed McGuinness.
O’Callaghan was thrilled.
“And he told us not to bring them into the House.”
Like we said: Let he who is without Sim cast the first phone.
‘No interaction’ between Healy-Disarraes at Kerry event
Headline of the Week: ‘Michael and Danny Healy-Rae Pictured in the Same Place for the First Time Since Split’
It appeared in The Irish Examiner above a story about the Healy-Disarraes finding themselves at the same opening of a health facility near Killarney, with only fellow Kerry TD and Minister for Children Norma Foley as a buffer between them and absolute carnage.
According to the unbylined report: “It is understood there was no interaction between them at the event”.
The Healy Dissaraes, that is.
Norma performed the official opening and talked to everyone.
Above in Dublin, the rift seems as deep as ever.
Although Labour’s Ciarán Ahern thought there might be a chink of light in the relationship at the end of Wednesday morning’s motion calling for a levy on energy used by data centres and a pause in the building of new data centres until household bills come down.
As the party’s climate spokesman, he listened to Michael “this motion is mad” and Danny “It is not possible to change the weather” tear strips off their climate goals from separate sides of the chamber.
Ciarán said he was disappointed that not one of the three Ministers in the Department of Climate and Energy turned up for the first half of the session.
“Thank you for gracing up with your presence for the second half of this debate,” he told Minister Darragh O’Brien.
“And if nothing else today, I’m pleased that we have, maybe, helped to reunite the Healy-Rae brothers over their joint passion for climate denial.”
It was lovely to see that collectivity back in the House.
“So don’t ever say the Labour Party never did anything for yah, lads.”
Danny Healy-Rae laughed.
“Ye’ll not change the weather!”
Interestingly, the brothers are not voting as a team any more either.
While they both voted against the climate change and data centres Bill and against woman being allowed to chose the time they have an abortion within the 12-week limit without having to wait for three days for it to happen, they were on opposite sides for most of the other votes this week.
Danny siding with the Opposition and former minister of State Michael with the Government he says his older brother’s comments effectively sacked him from.
No sparks fly as Heneghan’s electricity regulation Bill proceeds to next stage
While the Healy-Raes are no longer signed up to support the Government, Danny still sits beside Barry Heneghan, his erstwhile colleague in the group of Independents, who does.
On Wednesday, it looked like another member of the so-called Lowry Group had jumped ship as Minister for State Kevin ‘Boxer’ Moran crossed the floor to join them.
Dublin Bay North TD Heneghan introduced his first Bill on Wednesday. The Electricity Regulation (Amendment) (No 2) Bill 2026 would allow for the establishment of “private wires” networks throughout the State.
He says his legislation would modernise Ireland’s energy system and cut costs for families and businesses by introducing a regulated framework for direct electricity connections between renewable sources and end users.
Heneghan is a mechanical engineer who recently completed his master’s thesis on data centres, waste heat utilisation and district heating systems at DCU. He has been working on the Bill for the last 18 months.
In a press release flagging its introduction, he said the Taoiseach “confirmed last week that the Minister will engage directly with Deputy Heneghan’s Bill as it progresses through the Houses”.
It went through unopposed to the next stage.
“I want to congratulate the deputy because I know he has put a significant amount of work into getting the Bill ready for first stage,” said Chief Whip Mary Butler.
“Don’t worry, he’s a good teacher sitting right beside him,” said Boxer, who had come over from the Government side to show his support. He went straight back.
There were also congratulations for the Social Democrats TD for Dublin South Central, Jen Cummins, who introduced her first Bill on Tuesday.
“I am both very proud and nervous. It feels like my maiden speech all over again,” she said as she moved her School Meals Nutritional Standards Bill 2026.
“My dad and husband, who have worked in the food industry, are sitting in the public gallery. I hope I’m not going to cry.”
Ceann Comhairle Verona Murphy joined the Chief Whip in congratulating Deputy Cummins.
“I also commend your husband on his wonderful Christmas cake that I had the pleasure of tasting last year,” Verona added.
‘Votegate’ threatens to erupt again over abortion waiting period
Fianna Fáil’s “Votegate” embarrassment from 2019 was in danger of flaring up again this week when two party TDs appeared to press the wrong buttons during Wednesday night’s controversial vote on the progression of legislation to abolish the three-day mandatory waiting period for women who want to terminate their pregnancy within the 12-week limit.
Votegate led to a war of the buttons when it was discovered that Niall Collins had voted half a dozen times for Timmy Dooley who wasn’t in his seat at the time of the votes.
This time, it wasn’t until after the vote had taken place and journalists began tallying up which Government members voted for and against the Bill, that journalists began to see something didn’t quite add up.
Checked against assigned seating allocations and according to the official Dáil record, veteran Sligo TD Eamon Scanlon voted to remove the three-day pause.
However, he was one of the Fianna Fáil TDs who posed for a famous photograph with more than half of the parliamentary party – five women and 26 men – to underline their opposition to the introduction of abortion in advance of the 2018 referendum, which was carried by a large majority.
Meanwhile, Galway-Roscommon TD Martin Daly – a medical doctor, who was said to be in the Yes camp and supported the proposed legislation, voted against.
They sit next to each other. But a replay of the vote shows they were in the wrong seats – effectively, they had traded places. Presumably by mistake, as no explanation has been forthcoming.
Pro-Life Campaign Ireland tweeted a list of how all TDs voted with this caveat: “Please note that Deputy Eamon Scanlon is listed on the Oireachtas website as voting ‘Yes’ and Deputy Martin Daly as voting ‘No’. However, this is because the two TDs were seated in each other’s seats in the Dáil chamber at the time of the vote.”
And neither of them realised. Not even with the enormous screen above their heads showing the vote taking place.
Odd.
