If single fathers had automatic guardianship, one man might be alive today and his little girl cared for by those who love her, writes JOHN WATERS
WHEN “PAUL” told his sister “Anna” that he had met the love of his life, Anna was overjoyed. After just three months “Barbara” became pregnant. Soon afterwards, Paul discovered that she was a longtime methadone addict. When he confronted her about taking methadone while pregnant, she said the doctor advised her not to stop. She promised that after the baby was born she would go into rehab.
“Emily” was born addicted and spent the first three months of her life in hospital with tubes sticking out of her. Paul would go to the hospital every night to feed her, and afterwards would sing her to sleep in his arms. Sometimes, Anna was present and would gently coax Paul to put his daughter down, because he did not want to leave her.
Meanwhile, it became clear that Barbara had no intention of going into rehab. Jealous because Paul was spending so much time at the hospital, she accused him of flirting with the nurses. She moved out of Paul’s family home, where they had been living, making serious, unsubstantiated allegations about Paul. Shortly afterwards, Paul received a visit from social workers, who told him that they were applying for a care order for his daughter, and he could only see her if Barbara agreed.
Anna, working abroad, one day received a distraught phone call from Paul. He had contacted a social worker asking to see his daughter and had been told that he could have supervised visits only and it was for the mother to decide when these might take place. With Anna’s support he arranged for their aunt to supervise the first visit. On the appointed day, however, Barbara did not show up.
Unable to see his beloved daughter, Paul became more and more depressed. One day, he left a message on Anna’s answerphone saying that Barbara had told him she was moving and he would never see Emily again. “I can’t take any more,” he said. He asked Anna to fight for his little girl. He then went back to their family home and hanged himself.
Anna flew home and discovered that Barbara had disappeared with the baby. She called the social worker, who said that she could not be expected to watch the mother all the time, and anyway, since the mother had left their jurisdiction, it was no longer her problem.
After the funeral, Anna hired a lawyer, who contacted the Health Service Executive in the region where the mother was believed to be residing. While this was being checked out, Anna received a call from Barbara’s mother, who said that her daughter had abandoned Emily at her house. She asked Anna to come and get the baby, as she had to work. Anna took Emily home, called her lawyer and applied for custody of her niece.
In court, the fact that Paul had not been a guardian of his child meant that Anna was regarded as a stranger. The HSE and the mother were represented separately, though Barbara’s whereabouts were unknown. It emerged that Emily was Barbara’s third child by three different men. All three had been born addicted and had been taken into care.
While the proceedings were in train, a social worker remarked to Anna that they were unable to contact the mother. Anna asked why they were trying to contact her if she was supposed to be proving to them that she was a fit to care for Emily.
The social worker replied that this was their role: to show that they were trying to “engage” the mother, to ensure that the bond between mother and child was maintained.
Anna’s application for custody was rejected, and Emily was put into foster care. The HSE now refuses to tell Anna where Emily is. To send a gift to her niece she must drop it off at the HSE office. She knows nothing about the foster mother except that she has one child of her own.
For Emily’s first birthday in July, Anna will apply to take her out of care from a few days so her family can celebrate the occasion, but she is not hopeful, She has to date observed no signs of humanity in the HSE. She has argued with the social workers that Emily needs a solid family situation, and will eventually have to deal with the loss of her father and the circumstances of his death, as well as her mother’s addiction. But all the social workers care about, she says, is the mother’s “rights”.
My point in relating this story is not to draw attention to the moral bankruptcy of the HSE. That is already established. The point is that this story shows – yet again – how a society that daily prates about children’s rights remains indifferent to the welfare of children suffering now.
This week, the Labour Party and the Equality Authority separately published proposals to extend automatic guardianship to single fathers. Had either organisation done so 10 or five years ago – who knows? – Paul might still be alive, and Emily would be spending her first birthday in the company of the only people on earth capable of loving her.