RICHARD PERSSE (Snr),
Sir, - I too plan to write my autobiography. It will feature my career as a goalkeeper in junior football with Larkhill, Clifton United and various other junior clubs in Dublin in the late 1940s. It will be entirely my own work, not ghost-written. (I did think of approaching a certain well-known soccer pundit to undertake the task, but am averse to being told to f--- off).
One of the highlights of the book will be an incredulous look back at a junior match during which I managed to allow an innocuous ground shot to pass between my legs and into the net. My team-mates, I must say, were quite understanding and forgiving, but this changed the following week when I repeated the performance. Soon afterwards, I emigrated to London in search of work and I was extremely gratified at the enthusiastic send-off I got from my team-mates.
That's just a snippet. Shortly before publication, I will arrange a series of leaks which will lift the lid on the world of Irish soccer. For instance: which well-known Irish international player scored with his girlfriend on the pitch at Dalymount Park after the crowd had departed and the floodlights had been turned off?
All this and more to come. So, dear reader, stop salivating and start saving. It won't come cheap.
To Roy: You let us down. It was the wrong time and the wrong place. With you there, we could have won the bloody thing. - Yours ,etc.,
RICHARD PERSSE (Snr),
Bulfin Road,
Dublin 8.