Sir, - As O'Connell Street still lacks a millennial monument, or agreement thereto, may I bring forward a modest proposal to that end?
This would take the form of a stepped plinth, to be located where Nelson previously stood. This plinth would bear a full-scale sculpture of the late Mr Des Traynor caressing the head of a shamrock-garlanded tiger, rampant. The panels of the square plinth would bear a frieze, carved in relief, of likenesses of a number (say 120 or so) of our great and good, drawn from the merchant and political classes and plainly identifiable, tastefully attired as Cayman Islanders. These could be distributed equally around the plinth. Beneath these figures the inscription would run: Amnestia Taxis Vincit Omnia.
As this would occupy only one side, the remaining three inscription spaces would be left open for suggestions from the public (on a postcard to Dublin Castle please), thus ensuring a popular input into this expression of the nation's millennial delight. To chime with O'Connell's familiar sobriquet of "Liberator", the entire construct would be named "The Facilitator", in deference to its dominant figure.
The concrete foundation of the work could be poured by a reputable Irish company (Cement Roadstone, perhaps?), and the contract for its construction should be put to public tender, with the plain proviso that a certificate of tax-free status would not be required from all or any tenderers. The artistic execution of the work could be under the hand of your own immensely talented Mr Martyn Turner, whose efforts in this field have brought joy to the nation over the years.
The finished monument could be unveiled in time for the millennial commencement by a suitable dignitary (if one were still to be found), to the music of the Artane Boys' (dis)Band.
As an afterthought, it could be that a scaled-down version of the previously proposed Millennial Spike may still be available to the Corporation. This stainless steel object could be placed, loosely tethered against larceny, in proximity to "The Facilitator", so as to enable passing citizens to demonstrate their emotions on seeing it in a manner they consider fitting. - Yours, etc.,
David Grant, Mount Pleasant, Waterford.