It's a hard knock life and no mistake. Some deputies were trying to shout him down, said Michael McDowell in exasperation; what with the continuous heckling and roaring, he had to abandon a lot of the things he wanted to say, writes Kathy Sheridan.
We nodded in sympathy. How could such a delicate flower be expected to raise his voice above all that schoolboy barracking? Indeed his exquisite sensitivity was confirmed when Brendan Howlin declared that the Minister was "little short of a disgrace". "And you're a little short," retorted the flower.
He later apologised graciously; he was sorry "for being short" with Deputy Howlin. It was too bad that the bootboys caused the Minister to omit important things from his speech.
While he said that his primary focus yesterday was on children and he would have "plenty of time and opportunity to protect and vindicate my own reputation and integrity over the coming days and weeks", Pat Rabbitte timed him and claimed that after mentioning children at the beginning of his speech, he then went on for 22 minutes protecting his own position.
The words "black lie" and "another black lie" and "black, black lie" pinged early and often in the script. Meanwhile, various apoplectic parties bobbed up and
down demanding a copy of the script - which duly appeared 25 minutes later.
Skullduggery, they yelped. The Minister ploughed on, informing the House that basically, he had a eureka moment in the middle of the night because he discovered problems with the Bill that simply had not occurred to anyone else. "You were right all the time," jeered Padraig McCormack, "you were right and everyone else is wrong".
When the dust cleared, we inferred that what the Minister was saying, basically, was that we're making a law that will make things worse for children and on your heads - and the Supreme Court's - be it. When he finished, a whole row of Government backbenchers - and Brian Cowen - sat on their hands while the rest politely applauded the Minister. Finian McGrath chortled at the sight.
Enda Kenny, in a heartfelt speech (probably written by himself, hitting just the right tone and delivered with conviction), made some creditable efforts, suggesting that the Bill was drafted on the back of a Panadol in a Cabinet ante room. "That's an invention," protested the flower, "a false invention. You're inventing a myth."
The Taoiseach, of course, was still absent in New York. Kenny quoted him telling the country: "Nobody is to blame", then paused before adding: "Rapists of children walk free."
That stirred the Government troops. "One! One!" yelled one. "Singular!" roared another. By the time Kenny called the PD Minister a "Prostrate Democrat", they had given up.