Barbie, Keira Knightley, Femen and page 3: can breasts be a symbol of protest?

Barbie has had 150 jobs in 55 years – and she’s never let her breasts get in her way.

She was a teenage fashion model in 1959 and an astronaut in 1965. During the super productive 1970s she went from surgeon to flight attendant within 12 months. (Her career guidance teacher may have questions to answer for that move.)

In 1985 Barbie was a vet; a year later she was a rock star and she saw out that decade as a Unicef ambassador. In the 1990s there wasn’t a JobBridge in sight as our favourite well-endowed plastic blonde joined both the army and the navy before buying a boutique and driving a Nascar.

The ecumenical motorsports enthusiast took up Formula One in 2000, the same year she had a crack at the US presidency.

Thwarted at the ballot box, she looked after cute babies and cuter pets and won American Idol before wrapping things up by becoming an Arctic rescuer.

Of course, Barbie had her detractors. Many doubted her general intelligence and aptitude for such diverse occupational challenges. She proved them wrong. And all on her tippy toes.

Breasts have been looming large this week. Or small. Depending on your point of view.

Keira Knightley got us all focused on breasts again when she revealed all about a photoshoot she had done for Interview magazine in August. In the photo shoot, she had revealed, well, almost all.

It was all done in the spirit of good-old-fashioned protest, she said. “I’ve had my body manipulated so many different times for so many different reasons, whether it’s paparazzi photographers or for film posters.

“That was one of the ones where I said: ‘OK, I’m fine doing the topless shot so long as you don’t make them any bigger or retouch’. Because it does feel important to say it really doesn’t matter what shape you are.”

Anyone seeking a thrill by Googling the images should look away now. Knightley said she was definitely not getting her tits out for the lads.

“You need tremendous skill to be able get a woman’s shape and make it look like it does in life, which is always beautiful,” said Knightley. “But our society is so photographic now, it becomes more difficult to see all of those different varieties of shape.”

Breasts are best when they protest, then.

It’s a technique that the self-billed “radical feminist” group Femen have used liberally. Nary a protest against the patriarchy passes without the use of bare breasts – and flowers.

It’s easy to agree with the group’s aims, but painful for the middle-aged among us to watch. If anyone’s breasts are going to bring traffic to a halt, then surely they belong to us?

But there’s room for all sorts, as Keira Knightley has been on a mission to prove.

Meanwhile, Mattel Inc, maker of Barbie, announced last month that sales of the iconic doll had dropped for the fourth quarter in a row. Worldwide, sales of Barbie dropped by 21 per cent.

CEO Bryan Stockton admitted, “Barbie is not out of the woods yet,” but he said: “Barbie’s going to continue to be a brand that we spend a lot of time and attention on.”

Maybe she should try a career in topless protest.

Meanwhile . . .

The British edition of the Sun newspaper fell foul of the British Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) last week when an advert offering a date with a Page 3 model as a prize was banned.

Subscribers to the newspaper’s fantasy football competition were told that if they recruited more than 10 players to their league, they would be entered into the draw for a date with a glamour model.

“We might even let you pick which one, so feel free to start your research now. . . Don’t listen to your girlfriend when she says size doesn’t matter. The bigger your Mini League is, the more prizes you can get your mitts on”. . . it says here.

Some 1,036 complaints arrived at ASA HQ, begetting the final ruling: “In the context of the ad, we considered that to offer a date with a woman as a reward for success in the game was demeaning to women and objectified those offered as prizes.”