Dáil Sketch: Bertie was back from his transatlantic travels so it was a big day for the Dáil. So big in fact that they had to postpone proceedings for 10 minutes to cobble together enough deputies to reach a quorum.
Around 32 or so of the 166-strong membership made it to the chamber for the start of leaders' questions. A few more trickled in, bringing the Government total to 11. Then 14 when Mary Coughlan appeared in a white suit like the woman from Del Monte, followed by dapper Jim McDaid. The coalition finally mustered oh, all of 20 or so.
Voting patterns suggested that 77 deputies were lurking somewhere in Torpid Towers.
The most strenuous activity came from Dr Jimmy Devins in the backbenches, who masticated vigorously throughout a comparatively civilised debate.
It was all a long way from the naked terror and tension of last Friday's sitting, no doubt prompting some old dogs to reflect on the transient nature of public outrage.
Still, reasoned Joe Higgins, at least the Taoiseach's eventual appearance served to quell the "malicious rumour" that he had been seeking sanctuary from persecution at the UN.
Enda Kenny accused him of a dereliction of duty.
"You must inhabit a parallel universe," insisted Pat Rabbitte accusing Bertie of leaving behind a "laidback Cabinet"
Even if the Taoiseach was afraid "to let Conor out on his own", sniped the Labour leader in a reference to his junior travelling companion, he could have got some other Minister to deputise for him in New York and stayed home himself.
At least Enda Kenny managed to get some information - the number of cases covered by the struck-down sections.
Twenty, thought Bertie Ahern, who declared that he had no interest "in jumping all over a person who did not report it".
The Opposition demanded an independent investigation now, he went on, but when there was a similar rumpus 10 years ago (a reference to the Brendan Smyth affair) and Mr Kenny was in government, they were pleased to appoint three officials to draw up a report.
"That it should be entirely different now is a political point to which I will not succumb," he said, having quite clearly succumbed, only to be sharply reminded by Mr Rabbitte that back then Ministers were required to appear in public and actually give evidence.
The Taoiseach's patience wore thinner as the 20 minutes of allotted irksome exposure to the Opposition rambled on to around 80. Consensual intercourse became "consexual" intercourse (twice) and prompted a flurry of interest in the suddenly alert press gallery to whether this might be some new sexual position.
As for the investigation into who did or didn't do what, he could put "a mistake by an individual . . . up in lights [ with an official report] . . . so we can have another day out on it here, if that's what you want", he said testily, as though his tormentors had demanded that he mug someone's sweet old granny.
"It's more serious than that," yelped an outraged Fine Gaeler.
Well, it was last week anyway.