Despite the vast attendance, the funerals somehow remained intensely private
"WE DON'T know why such tragedies happen, they are not the will of God", said parish priest Fr Richard Hayes at the funeral service yesterday for Diarmuid and Lorraine Flood and their children Mark and Julie at St Clement's church, Cloughbawn, Co Wexford.
"We are numbed and confused. The untimely deaths of Diarmuid, Lorraine and their two children Mark and Julie have come as a terrible shock to us all . . . but we are not without hope, we are not without help. Christ stands among us and says courage, do not be afraid".
At the Mass, concelebrated with 11 priests, the four caskets stood before the altar, two made of oak for Diarmuid and Lorraine, two smaller ones painted white for Mark and Julie. They were adorned with photographs, most of them of Lorraine: Lorraine holding her newborn daughter with Mark beside her, a more recent picture with the children and one of a young Lorraine as Strawberry Queen. Diarmuid was represented in a wedding photograph of the couple.
As the family had requested donations to the depression charity Aware, in lieu of flowers, there were few wreaths.
In pride of place at the main door, though, was a square floral offering in the Celtic swirls logo of the Rose of Tralee, topped with a printed ribbon reading "Once a rose, always a rose".
This was accompanied by a card from "All at the Rose of Tralee" and a note remembering Lorraine for her beauty and joyful spirit.
Later at Communion, when the children's choir of St Aidan's national school sang A Little Peace, tears fell down many faces as they remembered a famous night in 1991 when local girl Lorraine Kehoe had sung it as her party piece on the famous Tralee stage and told Gay Byrne that she would marry Diarmuid, her boyfriend of seven months, if he asked her.
With the tiny country church reserved for the bereaved families, about 1,000 mourners - including MEP Avril Doyle, Brendan Howlin TD, Seán Connick TD and Ireland and Reading soccer star Kevin Doyle, a cousin of Lorraine - listened outside in chilly sunshine.
They heard a service without eulogies or family reminiscences, one that somehow remained intensely private despite the vast attendance. A 10-year-old niece of Lorraine, Rosie Conran, recited A reflection on Sadness:
"Sadness smells like smoke coming out of a house on fire,
Sadness sounds like a banshee screaming,
Most of all, Sadness is when your relations die in a fire.
We will miss you a lot".
In his homily, Fr Hayes said that "we all come across things in life that are sad, very sad, but this is one which is almost impossible to comprehend. This is not the day or the place for speculation."
He quoted from St Matthew's Gospel: "Come to me all who are burdened and I will give you hope" and noted that this hope and love had been manifested during this past week through the outpouring of generosity in the local community.
"What is God asking of us today? In the first letter of Peter, he tells us that we should have unity of spirit, sympathy and love for one another, we should have a tender heart, a humble mind, to repay with a blessing and to cast all our anxieties on the God of love because He does care for us.
"We also keep in mind that this is a very painful tragedy that involves the loss of life of small children, Mark and Julie, and their young parents, Diarmuid and Lorraine. Let us be sensitive and caring to the bereaved families as we consider the rawness of their great loss, their vulnerability, their darkness and their pain."
The enormity of the tragedy was manifest to the congregation in the churchyard when the coffins were borne out of the church by relatives, Julie's first, followed by those of Mark, Lorraine and Diarmuid.
As the distraught pall bearers passed through a guard of honour of Clonroche's hurling team and climbed the slope to the back of the cemetery, the choir sang traditional hymns, Hail Queen of Heaven, Nearer my God to Thee and Jesus Remember me.
"You know Lorraine was a member of our choir, don't you?" said a woman, with tears streaming down her face.