Enda's Gaelacticos get ready for battle to stop relegation of Seanad

SEANAD SKETCH:Classical references raise the tone while Enda's 11 line out to gasps of admiration, propelling the humble Seanad into Champions League territory, writes MIRIAM LORD

LOS GAELACTICOS, Enda’s stellar 11, lined out in Seanad Éireann to gasps of admiration from the journeymen players around them.

“Historic!” swooned David Norris.

“Extraordinary individuals!” cried Mark Daly.

Not a dud amongst them. Champion’s League quality.

The reputation of the Taoiseach’s super selection of new Senators has preceded them. They have a lot to live up to.

The rest of the Senators said lovely things about them when the house convened yesterday afternoon after a week spent recovering from their exhausting 2½ hour inaugural session.

Although some were still feeling a little bruised by the unenthusiastic response to the wanton windbaggery that marked their return. It did not go unnoticed that, over the weekend, some of the new intake had the temerity to criticise their verbosity.

Fianna Fáil’s Paschal Mooney was particularly hurt. “My skin is as thick as anyone else’s, a Cathaoirleach, but . . .” He went on to point out that last week’s meeting was largely a ceremonial affair, and while his input “was not a contribution that would rank with Cicero” it wasn’t that bad.

In fact, mused the Senator, if that (unnamed) member isn’t happy with the way the Senate conducts its affairs, perhaps he should consider resigning his seat.

No matter, concluded Paschal, sadly. “It’s more a reflection on him that it is on me.”

Are you listening, John Whelan In fairness to Paschal – and despite his distress – he managed to keep his comments fairly brief.

Cicero? Oh yes, we’re in the Champions League now.

Jimmy Harte (Donegal Gaelactico) had some advice for his fellow Senators. According to Cicero, the art of political debate was to “keep your speeches short, remember names, tell a few jokes, put on a show; and above all, render an issue, however complicated, into a story anyone can grasp.” They were well impressed, the journeymen who had to traverse the highways and byways of Ireland to get elected.

“And that’s from 53BC and maybe we can all learn from Cicero today.” He pointed out that the “emperor” had very forward-thinking views when it came to curbing the travel expenses of Senators.

Speaking of which, Jimmy then suggested that the Seanad should meet outside of Dublin at least once a year. Donegal, preferably.

(Or maybe Ivor Callely could entertain them in west Cork, when he’s at home.) This was too much for David Norris. He may not be one of Enda’s Gaelacticos, but if there is going to be any high-falutin’ talk about ancient Rome and the classics, it should be him doing it.

Although David might be well advised to steer clear of discussing the classics at this delicate juncture in his presidential ambition.

Nevertheless, the father of the Upper House went in with a sliding tackle.

“Cicero was not an emperor,” he declared, as Sen Harte muttered quietly to himself. “He occupied a much more exalted position: he was a member of the senate.” Hooray! While Sen Norris’s long march to Áras an Uachtaráin may have hit a bumpy patch, his enthusiasm remains undimmed. He pleaded Sinn Féin’s case for speaking rights in the new Seanad.

Some Senators found this amusing. If Sinn Féin decides to support David’s case for a nomination, his name is on the ballot paper.

“The love-bombing by Sen Norris continues and I’m confident of his nomination as president by the end of the day,” chuckled Fianna Fáil’s Mark Daly.

Meanwhile, the new Cathaoirleach is settling in to his new job. He is a very accommodating man. He let speakers wander over their allotted time and only once ventured a timid tap on his warning bell.

Perhaps he should have a word with his counterpart in the Dáil. Ceann Comhairle Seán Barrett doesn’t bother much with the bell either; he just steams in on deputies who overstay their oratorical welcome.

After last week’s disappointing opening, Senators were more focused and less inclined to ramble yesterday.

The Fianna Fáil side was particularly subdued. Terry Leyden pointed out that he will be introducing the first private members Bill of the 24th Seanad – henceforth to be known as the “Wills Bill”.

This is aimed at insuring that lost wills will be a thing of the past by the creation of a central record of wills.

So let nobody say that Fianna Fáil Senators are not doing their bit to make the Seanad relevant in advance of it being culled because a Fianna Fáil-led Seanad rendered it irrelevant.

But back to the Gaelacticos.

The big news yesterday was that Enda’s 11 – each one a tight-passing political Messi with the ability to save Seanad Éireann from oblivion – have formed a team.

This is the first time in the history of the Upper House that the taoiseach’s selection has organised into a recognised bloc.

Jillian van Turnhout, chief executive of the Children’s Rights Alliance, is their spokeswoman. When she spoke, she was brief and to the point.

The group represents a broad spectrum of issues. “Our diversity is our strength,” she said.

Fine Gael’s Maurice Cummins, the new Seanad leader, indicated that he wants the House to sit for longer hours and he will be shortening the summer recess period.

His colleague Paul Coghlan complimented him on his “very businesslike intentions” – a sentiment with which his fellow Kerryman, Fianna Fáil’s Ned O’Sullivan, agreed.

Ned said he would happily work every hour God sends, “but it’s a disgrace to bring us back for the week of Listowel Races”.

By Cicero! With Ned’s undoubted passion and Enda’s Gaelacticos working overtime on the wings, things are looking up.