Miriam Lord's Week

PJ Mara to be director of FF election team; Fear and loathing in Leinster House; Rory O'Hanlon's Bali excursion put on hold; …

PJ Mara to be director of FF election team; Fear and loathing in Leinster House; Rory O'Hanlon's Bali excursion put on hold; Paisley and McGuinness agree on tea breaks; Dermot Ahern's radio days; Citizen Bertie on line one.

In the next few days PJ Mara will be formally confirmed as Fianna Fáil's director of elections. With their strategists reportedly reeling from the results of the TNS mrbi poll published yesterday in this newspaper, the party has appointed three proven election big-hitters to co-ordinate the national campaign.

Joining the wily veteran - who divides his time these days between Dublin and the Caribbean, where he is a director of Denis O'Brien's Digicel mobile phone company - are two formidable political tacticians: Government press secretary Mandy Johnston will be director of communications while PR consultant and former special adviser to President McAleese, Eileen Gleeson, will be tour manager. Both women have experience of fighting successful campaigns.

While it had been widely expected that millionaire PJ would head up the national operation, doubts about his role began to surface when the party appeared in no hurry to make an announcement. In contrast, Fine Gael's Frank Flannery and Labour's James Wrynn are already well ensconced in the job for their parties.

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Charlie Haughey's former press secretary Mara reprises his role from the last election, as does Johnston.

Eileen will be troubleshooting on the trail with the Taoiseach while PJ and Mandy will run the war room at the campaign headquarters in Dublin's Treasury Building. Their team of more than 25 staff began work there last week and the bunker is now fully operational.

With Fianna Fáil's election nerve-centre ready for action, everything is now in place for Bertie to name the date. This may go some way towards calming the nerves of party deputies who were in a state of high anxiety all week.

"People shouldn't be getting themselves excited," the Taoiseach said yesterday.

It's all right for Bertie to talk, but his troops have been in the starting blocks for so long now they're beginning to turn nasty. If their leader doesn't call the election in the next couple of days, he's in danger of being lynched by his own backbenchers.

There are still some laid-back souls around the place who are sticking to May 8th or May 9th. Most cannot bear to think that far ahead. Too busily engaged in a totally futile exercise, they are second-guessing what is going on in Bertie Ahern's mind.

You were nothing in Leinster House last week if you couldn't identify a straw in the wind. Straws in the wind included President Mary McAleese going on holiday, the Mahon tribunal starting this Monday, Michael McDowell pictured in the paper kissing a puppy, Brian Cowen wearing make-up, Bertie's advisers spotted having a drink together.

Ministers being nice to everyone, the Ceann Comhairle cancelling his trip to Bali, Paddy Power suspending betting on certain dates, Bertie arriving back early from breakfast in Monaghan, Bertie visiting his daughter in Holles Street, retiring deputies speaking "for the last time" and backbenchers hugging each other in the bar.

A total of 17 new judges are due to be appointed by the Cabinet on Tuesday. However, sources say the Cabinet can do that after the Dáil is dissolved.

Tuesday is the first day of May. Bertie always said he would call the election in summer. The PDs are launching their manifesto tomorrow. He could go on Monday. The FF campaign HQ is ready for action. Bertie doesn't have to make the announcement in the Dáil - he can do it today if he wants.

I'm off for a lie down.

Think of poor Rory O'Hanlon, Taoiseach. After all his hard work in the chair during the 29th Dáil, he deserves a nice week in the sun. Already confirmed on the plane to Bali for the annual assembly of the Inter-Parliamentary Union are Fianna Fáil deputies Noel Davern and Jim Glennon, Fine Gael's Paul McGrath, Senator Mary Henry, Leas Ceann Comhairle Seamus Pattison and Cathaoirleach of the Seanad Rory Kiely.

What do these politicians have in common? As they are all, except for Rory O'Hanlon, retiring from politics, none of them will be returning to Leinster House after the election. What better than a last hurrah under the Indonesian sun?

Of course, there is much work to be done. More than 1,500 parliamentarians and parliamentary staff will attend the assembly to discuss a range of issues, including global warming and peaceful co-existence between all religious communities.

Rory O'Hanlon will continue to represent Cavan Monaghan in the next Dáil, but as Ceann Comhairle, he is returned automatically. Like the others, he won't have to sweat it out on the campaign trail. But if Bertie gets on his skates before Mary McAleese departs for America, Rory might still be able to sweat it out under the sun in Nusa Dua.

One name on the list stands out: Senator Geraldine Feeney from Sligo. Seanad elections don't take place till a couple of months after the general election - hard worker Ger must be feeling confident.

Let us a take a short break from southern politics, where things are rather heated at the moment, and go to the oasis of political calm and accord that is Belfast.

Since last month's historic powersharing agreement between the DUP and Sinn Féin, the run-up to the first meeting of the Stormont executive on May 8th has been going swimmingly. first minister-designate Paisley and deputy first minister-designate McGuinness have enjoyed tea in each other's offices on no fewer than three occasions.

Big Ian has twice played host to the man who was once his mortal enemy, while Martin has only entertained the DUP leader once. He'll have to have him around again before the eighth.

"More tea, reverend?"

"Don't mind if I do, Martin."

Life never ceases to amaze.

The Minister for Foreign Affairs, Dermot Ahern, is always in good form. The reason for this might have something to do with what he said recently in an interview on LMFM radio. Presenter Michael Reade, grilling Dermot on the state of the health service in the northeast region, asked what he would do if he were Minister for Health.

"Well," he replied, "It has often been mooted that I might be Minister for Health . . . in fact, just after the recent reshuffle, when I was made Minister for Foreign Affairs, Mary Harney turned to me and said: 'You owe me a favour.'"

"I said 'Why?' She said: 'I think you were going to get health if I hadn't taken it.' I've been thanking my lucky stars over the last 2½ years that I didn't get it."

Mindful of his audience, Ahern then said that if he were in the job, the health service in the northeast and the Louth area would be assured of "absolutely the maximum available".

However, and let us all be clear on this, Dermot stressed, "I believe health is above politics". Dermot's interview will not have been the most popular item on that morning's Loose Talk programme. The daily death notices hold that honour. The show has now begun podcasting obituaries on the web, and it's proving a big hit with expats around the world.

Back to naming the day. Bertie was in finest bystander mode yesterday at the IMI conference when asked about the hiccup in the housing market. All this uncertainty over stamp duty isn't helping, he mused.

"The slowdown is because of the inordinate amount of promises and the electorate don't know what to believe," he said, sounding like one of the many hacked-off voters who rang Liveline the other day to complain about the Government, politicians and Bertie Ahern.

"I suppose the quicker we get out of the general election situation, the market will moderate itself and bring itself back to the norm," he said, venturing sound advice to whoever is supposed to be in charge.

We're with man of the people Bertie. Whoever is in charge should do something. We can't go on like this.

Maybe he should ring Joe Duffy. He might tell Bertie who the Taoiseach is.