JOE pulled back his jacket to show the black leather strap the Christian Brothers had beaten him with as a child. It was a symbol of times past, of what he and the 500 other people at the One Happy Day celebrations in Dublin yesterday had survived.
"This is the best day of my life. I had a great day at my wedding, but I have been working through what happened to me at the orphanage for the past 30 years, so to come here it is all just a great thing. It is a day for openness and friendship," said Joe (44), who spent most of his childhood at the Christian Brothers orphanage in Killarney.
Mairead (44) said the reunion with fellow orphans from Rathdrum was a watershed and far better than her wedding.
"We only got married to get out of the convent. It is the greatest day of our life because it gives us the chance to love all those people we were not able to love in the convent because we were not allowed to. But today we can love them and care for them," she said.
Most of the people at the celebrations, organised by the Goldenbridge orphan, Ms Christine Buckley, were middle aged women. They were singing, dancing, hugging and kissing each other, but dotted through the crowd were people in tears, unable to cope with the flood of memories.
"There are so many things flashing through my mind, things I have not forgotten about but just pushed to the back of my mind," said a 49 year old woman who, was number 69 at an orphanage in the midlands.
She shook with the agony of remembering her life there, the mental and physical cruelty.
"When I was making my Communion and I saw Jesus being whipped on the Cross I thought it was normal to be beaten, but when I was older and saw the younger children being beaten and shouting Sister, I love you, I love you and them stretched out across the bed, then I just could not take it any more.
"Even when I left I could never make a friend because I always kept putting myself down. I wanted to talk about it, but I never had any friends so I ended up talking about it on the bus or when I was in hospital having my babies, and people would just look at me and think I was off my rocker," she said.
Many spent yesterday trying to make friends with people they themselves had treated cruelly.
"Out of frustration we were really very spiteful to each other because we really did not know any different. But it is lovely to be able to come here and begin again with these people," said one woman who had travelled from England for the reunion.
Many said Christine Buckley was a hero for talking openly and frankly about the cruelty at orphanages and for organising the event.
"I knew it would be this good because there were a lot of people really hurting out there. And today is just a day for them, to let them let their hair down, and it is smashing," Ms Buckley said.
People had come from all over the State and the UK. They had their photographs taken with RTE's Pat Kenny and the mother of the model Naomi Campbell and danced to the Paddy Cole Jazz Band. They left with teddy bears, spot prizes and names and addresses.
"There is always tomorrow to deal with the problems, and hopefully they will have formed networks among themselves and start meeting each other as friends," Ms Buckley added.