A man accused of a double murder and a serious assault in Co Roscommon last year told a jury yesterday that he "had no control over" what he did on the fatal night.
A psychiatrist who examined him said Mr Mark Nash had the potential for extreme violence, but it was possible he went into a "subliminal rage where he did not know what he was doing".
Mr Nash gave evidence in his defence on the fourth day of his trial in which he denies intent to cause grievous bodily harm to his former girlfriend, Sarah Jane Doyle, and has pleaded not guilty to the murder of her sister, Catherine Doyle (28), and her brother-in-law, Carl Doyle (29), at Caran, Ballintober, on August 16th, 1997. last year.
Mr Nash told Mr Gregory Murphy SC, defending: "I had no control over what took place that night. I don't know why I did it, I can't explain it, it's something I've thought about a lot. I didn't mean to harm anybody. I didn't mean to kill anybody."
But he agreed with Mr Murphy that "in a savage way" that is what he had done.
Mr Nash said he could recall killing Mr Doyle but did not remember much of his attack on Sarah Jane with a stove handle, or stabbing her sister. He said Mr Doyle was playing with a knife and then playfully threatening him with it. He had been sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of him.
Asked by Mr Michael Durack SC, prosecuting, why he took the knife from Carl, he first said: "I have no idea", then "to stop him waving it about in front of my face".
But he could have moved away, Mr Durack said. "I didn't feel like moving, I had just been sick, I didn't feel too well", he replied.
Asked by his counsel why he started stabbing Mr Doyle, he replied: "I don't know if it was a mixture of drink, drugs, being sick, seeing the knife - maybe even paranoia".
Before that night he had never laid a finger on his girlfriend, he said. He also denied ever laying a finger on his former girlfriend, the mother of his baby, with whom he had moved to Ireland.
He agreed that he had one previous conviction in England "for pushing a girl".
He said he was a moderate drinker and had smoked cannabis since the age of seven, at first twice a week, then regularly.
He agreed with Mr Murphy that he held "no smouldering resentment" towards Carl Doyle.
Under cross-examination he said that when he and his former girlfriend had split up, "things were very hectic". At first he did not recollect what Mr Durack described as a significant row between them.
He denied hitting her head against the arm of a sofa but recalled her "banging her head against a sofa".
"I think I was holding her at the time," he added. He denied grabbing her by the throat. He did not remember threatening her with a steam iron, though it was possible.
He denied that he was making up a story about Mr Doyle waving a knife at him to blame someone else for something he had done himself.
He took a hammer from a house to scare people off, he said. He denied he had threatened gardai with it, or used it to break a van windscreen or threatened an elderly woman with it.
It was not giving himself up, it was getting away that was on his mind when he went off, Mr Durack suggested. "No, it was dying", said Mr Nash.
Dr Richard Blennerhassett, clinical director at St Ita's Hospital, Portrane, said he had examined Mr Nash for two hours and found no major psychiatric disorder "as we would define it".
However, on that night to such an extent that he and so may not have been aware of his actions, he said.
In terms of character, Mr Nash "had the potential to carry out the extreme violence that he did". He was a self-confident individual and had "built up a cocky" air about him.
There was a sense in which "he might want to see himself as a cool, John Travolta-like figure in the film Pulp Fiction", he said.
It was possible that Mark Nash, "in an extreme rage, wanted to wipe out all the adults in the house that night".
This state of rage, his underlying character and the disinhibiting effect of having taken alcohol and cannabis that evening had perhaps led to the awful events.
Asked by Mr Murphy if there was a possibility that if Nash had a subliminal rage he might not know what he was doing, the psychiatrist said "Yes".
The defence case ended yesterday. The jury will hear closing speeches and the judge's charge on Monday, and then retire.