Poland: Mick and his Scottish stag party pals have been in Krakow 13 hours and haven't had a drink for 12. With Pope Benedict in residence, city officials decreed that the city's thousands of bars, shops and kiosks were forbidden from selling alcohol over the weekend. Unknowingly, a few dozen stag parties had flown into a dry town.
"The last drop we had was with the stripper in the limo the lads organised for me from the airport," said Glasgow-born Mick, the groom-to-be, sitting with his pals outside a bar on Krakow's old town square on Saturday night. Empty coffee cups fill the table where empty beer glasses should be.
"I've never been with my mates so long before without having a drink," he said. "And I've realised tonight that I barely know them." Prohibition during papal visits is not new in Polish cities, but stag parties are.
One of Mick's group is wondering aloud whether the €1,000-a-bottle strip club is worth a look while two others are mulling the alcoholic alternatives: methanol or Mass wine.
Out of pity, I find a store selling alcohol-free beer: 0.5 per cent alcohol is better than nothing. On the short walk back to the stag party with a clanking bag of bottles, I decide to test the powers of forbidden fruit; in one hand a bag making the distinctive clanking sound of beer bottles, in the other I hold a distinctive green beer bottle.
I get a cartoon-style double take from a British man, a thirsty gaze from a Polish man and a dirty look from a young priest shepherding scouts.
"I lived in Galway for a year, in Roscrea, and there were 25 pubs for 4,500 people," said Steve, one of the stag group. "But I never saw anything like this. There has to be a lock-in somewhere." I find one, at an Irish pub naturally, but the lock-in has turned into a lock-down and a barman with a stricken expression is already locking up, at 11pm. The brown paper covering the windows and the claims the lock-in was a private function were not enough to convince the police. "They came in and started checking people's IDs," said the barman. "I hope we don't lose our licence.
Back in the old town, at one of the few liquor stores still open, a staff member is turning away a couple with good-natured firmness. "They wanted to buy mini bottles of vodka. They said they collect them," he said with a smile. A friend explains that mini bottle collecting is a popular hobby in Poland. By Sunday morning, however, it's likely that many Krakow collections will be incomplete.