Confessions of a hypochondriac

Conor Pope talks to a 38-year-old Dublin man, a self-confessed hypochondriac who prefers to remain anonymous.

Conor Pope talks to a 38-year-old Dublin man, a self-confessed hypochondriac who prefers to remain anonymous.

I started worrying about my heart in my mid-teens. As I have grown older the fears have grown with me. But so have the chances of a heart attack, MS, testicular cancer or all manner of other ailments. By any measure, I'm a lot closer to death than I was at 14. They call it hypochondria, I call it a lively awareness of the inevitable.

I get waves of hypochondria and I visit my GP four to six times a year. I should point out that for some of those visits I am actually ill. And that I rarely bother them with the really serious stuff, because I'd rather not know the worst. I don't change GP all that often. When I move house it takes a couple of goes to find someone I like, but then I'm pretty faithful.

The most enduring health concerns I have had include heart disease, mental illness, skin cancer and one very serious bout of thinking I had rapid-onset MS. That one necessitated tests and made for a very miserable summer.

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I know that I am prone to hypochondria but does that make it easier? Of course not. Hypochondriacs are no less likely to get heart disease or go mad. In fact, with the worry we put ourselves through, I wouldn't be surprised if we are more likely.

It can become a major preoccupation but I do recognise that it is a farcical thing to suffer from and I can see the funny side.

In one way it has made a serious change to my life. Thinking I had rapid-onset MS made me focus a lot on my death, and how I was handling it. The answer was, I was handling it like a small whiny child. Having had that bit of practice, I now think I am much better equipped for a John Wayne-style farewell. It's a second chance to die well, and I'm quite pleased with that.

I have never considered therapy as I can see it giving me eight new things to worry about. I would no more go to a therapist than I would watch a Channel Four special on 100 Greatest Early Warnings Signs Of Potentially Fatal Diseases.