Parents need to set an example if they want to keep their kids eating healthily, writes psychologist David Coleman
It is easy to blame parents for the state of their children. We look at children's behaviour and think to ourselves, "well, that apple didn't fall far from the tree". So when we hear about an obese, 14-stone (88.9kg) 8-year-old it is only natural to blame his parents for letting it happen. But is that really fair? After all, when it comes to overeating, it is rarely because parents are forcing their children into it. In fact it is usually a combination of the child's emotional needs and the family's eating habits.
FOOD AND EATING are quite emotional issues. If you look back at your own eating history, I'll bet that you remember times when you were made to feel good or bad by your parents for eating and times when your own mood dictated what you ate. The phenomenon of "comfort eating" is well recognised. Some foods that we eat can even trigger moods. I heard from a maker of chocolate that 70 per cent cocoa chocolate hits many of the same neurotransmitters in women as an orgasm!
While it might be that an element of the overeating is due to the emotional needs of a child, there is still a significant proportion of it that is probably habit. We get used to eating certain kinds of food. We all know that high-fat, high-sugar and high-salt foods may appeal to a child but they are not necessarily good for them. However, with the proliferation of slickly marketed snack products, it can be hard to make fruit or other healthy foods look or sound as appealing.
The good thing about habits is that they can easily be broken or altered. That means that, despite the contrary messages children may get from advertising, parents can have a significantly positive role in determining their children's eating habits.
The best starting place for parents is to look first at their own eating habits. It is easy to criticise the habits of our children but often harder to accept that we may not be the healthiest of eaters ourselves. Like it or not, we are the most powerful role models for our children, and they will always do what we do long before they will do what we say. Think about what you eat and then change it if you want your child to follow suit. If you are eating a packet of crisps it is almost impossible to prevent your child eating them.
The same role-model approach can be used to show children how to eat. Lots of children who eat too much will eat quickly (not giving their stomachs a chance to get the message to their brain that it is full) or will eat while distracted (reading or watching TV). Distracted-eating fools the brain into believing that we haven't actually consumed enough, as we weren't conscious of the volumes of food that were going in. When in doubt, therefore, get off the sofa and get back to the table.
IN MANY WAYS, as a society, we are moving away from the social aspects of eating. We are all so busy that it doesn't suit us to come together at the same time to eat. One or both of us might be working and our children are probably busy heading in different directions too. Rather than preparing one meal it can often be easier to let everyone eat their own, ready-made, convenience food when it suits them. Unfortunately, most convenience food isn't as healthy as the home-cooked option. Slowing down our lives may be a big ask but it may also be a significant factor in teaching our children about good, and healthy, food.
Of course, almost any child who has the choice of eating a bar of chocolate or a banana will probably choose the chocolate. A great way to reduce the amount of sweets or unhealthy snacks that your child eats is to simply remove the option from them. If there are no sweets in the house then your child can't eat them. Yet again, this puts a pressure on us to maybe change our ways. Do you have a goodies cupboard? Could you do without it yourself?
Children love to be acknowledged and noticed. If they feel that they will be noticed for eating healthily it will greatly improve the chances of them choosing to do so. Simple praise can be enough. Other children may like to have a visual and tangible record of their success at eating healthily, and so you might want to introduce a sticker or star chart to show them and the world that they are eating more of the healthy foods that you want.
Another crucial task in combating obesity in children is to get them out and active. Exercise, by its nature, burns calories. Food provides a vital energy for the body but if that energy is not used up it gets stored as fat.
Slothful children who spend hours in front of the games console, TV or PC are not using up the energy that they are accumulating from their food. Exercise is also a good way of improving mood, so even if your child is eating for emotional reasons it can be more helpful to be active.
You are never powerless, as a parent, in the face of your child's eating. The key, however, is that it requires a shift in attitude and behaviour from us to lead to the same change in our children.
David Coleman presents the TV programme Families in Trouble. The first episode in the new series is on RTÉ1 at 9.30pm on Monday