Maybe the stress is good for them. Maybe whatever doesn't kill them will make them stronger. Maybe kids should learn how to cope with ludicrous stress levels now, since they're heading into our new, tough competitive world.
Or maybe it's time, pace the Points Commission, for somebody to shout "stop" before we put another generation of our students through the wringer that the Leaving Cert and getting into third level have become. In the meantime, what can parents do to alleviate the stress that so many of their 16-, 17- and 18-year-olds are suffering - sleepless nights, psychosomatic pains, panic at exam time?
Although it's fashionable to assume stress is normal - some parents wonder what's wrong if their child isn't stressed at senior cycle - it's not easy for you or your children to admit that they really may not be coping. A study of stress levels among Leaving Cert students carried out by the ESRI in 1996 showed that two-thirds of the girls in its sample were building towards high stress levels. (The boys in the sample, who did not perform as well in their exams, did not suffer high stress as much.) Anecdotal evidence also suggests stress is widespread: one father tells how his daughter missed getting a handout on how to handle stress in school one day recently - because she was out sick that day with symptoms that a doctor diagnosed as stress-induced. Parents hear reports - e.g., three teenagers in school X have had a nervous breakdown - and are terrified when they hear talk of suicide, though experts say evidence does not suggest a link between the education system and teen suicides.
Roisin Kelleher, president of the Institute of Guidance Counsellors, agrees that students do experience increased stress, but adds: "I don't think the picture of lots of students being under a severe amount of stress is accurate." The parents of those who are, she says, should discuss problems with their school. One teacher who has taught in several kinds of schools agrees stress is not universal, but says it is widespread in the kind of middleclass school where parents and students are all focused on third level, and students themselves class people who don't get into university as "failures". Nobody wants the kind of stress our children endure, yet we've largely accepted it as the price of economic success, a success in which the education system has played a key part. The problems of that system, like having one terminal exam as the passport to further education, have long been identified and worried over.
The Points Commission, of course, was set up because of concern over the points system - including its effect on the personal development of students. Its comprehensive report makes interesting reading, but the bottom line is that after all its work, it recommended that the system which all agree is fair, not to say brutally efficient, should stay for the foreseeable future.
So rail if you will against a system which tests above all students' ability to cope with high pressure and pass exams - a system which undermines its own impressive curriculum by forcing students to focus "their efforts on mastering strategies to help them over the examination hurdles rather than on developing mastery of subject matter and honing lasting competencies", to quote a study on external exam systems mentioned in the Points Commission report; a system in which people with money can still buy the kind of help - grinds, outside counselling - that can support their child through the Leaving. We're stuck with it.
The good news is that despite what parents often feel, we are the people who can help our children the most, says psychologist Marie Murray. If we can be positive and reassuring, the hype about points induced by themselves, by friends, teachers, and, yes, the media, will have less effect. "The parental message is always the most powerful one," Murray says.
Like Kelleher, and John Whyte of the National Parents Council (Post-Primary), she urges parents to reassure their children about the huge number of options available to them post-Leaving. If a pupil doesn't get the points for a favoured course, a low-points course may well lead to the same destination by a longer route, as articles in Education & Living and books such as Student Yearbook and Directory constantly point out.
Don't be deflected when they dismiss this outright, wailing "but I don't want to do food science in Letterkenny IT" (100 points). There is fierce and ridiculous snobbery amongst many students about PLCs and institutes of technology, which is largely forgotten as soon they split up and go off to college.
Even if children appear not to be listening, Murray says, parents should keep giving them the message that the Leaving Cert is not the end of the road. "Parents are in a pivotal position to help their children through the Leaving Cert year with reduced stress, even if a child seems semi-hysterical."
YOU SHOULDN'T assume children will be stressed beyond their ability to cope, but if there are signs that they are - watch out for poor sleeping patterns, withdrawal, sadness, irritability - you should try to talk about it. Don't assume that idleness means your child isn't stressed: often, a student can feel so overwhelmed he or she just gives up.
Offer a stressed student practical help, whether it's buying relaxation tapes, sprinkling lavender oil on their pillow or going for outside help, if you can afford to. Be positive yourself, always promoting their self-esteem. (Mind your reaction to the mock results.) Visit your GP, find someone, perhaps a counsellor, who can teach your child in a very practical way how to handle stress.
