Darth strikes back, resigns from Empire

The scathing resignation letter of the Goldman Sachs executive has inspired a rash of online spoofs written on behalf of several…

The scathing resignation letter of the Goldman Sachs executive has inspired a rash of online spoofs written on behalf of several imaginary employees led by Darth Vader announcing his resignation from the Empire.

Within hours of the New York Times publishing Greg Smith's letter, in which he calls the investment bank a "toxic" place where managing directors referred to their clients as "muppets", the villain of the popular sci-fi epic Star Wars also decided to quit via British satirical website, The Daily Mash.

Using many of the same phrases Mr Smith penned in his letter, Darth Vader said he no longer felt at home in the Empire.

"The Empire today has become too much about shortcuts and not enough about remote strangulation. It just doesn't feel right to me anymore," Darth Vader said in his letter.

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"The Empire is one of the galaxy's largest and most important oppressive regimes and it is too integral to galactic murder to continue to act this way. The firm has veered so far from the place I joined right out of Yoda College that I can no longer in good conscience point menacingly and say that I identify with what it stands for," Darth Vader adds.

The spoofs highlight how investment banks such as Goldman Sachs have become household names after the global financial crisis triggered by the 2008 collapse of Lehman Brothers, and how deeply allegations of corporate greed resonate at a time when recession, joblessness and shrinking incomes have become the norm for many across the globe.

Online magazine Slate published spoof resignations of what it called disillusioned employees at retail giant Wal-Mart Stores, McDonald's, and Google. "When I started here, there was an entire refrigerator stocked with coconut water. Now, that fridge holds nothing but agave juice. I don't care for it," wrote a fictional Google employee named Bob Randolph.

"When I look at the McRib, I realise that it's no longer about serving the highest-quality ambiguously sourced, rib-shaped meat product," Slate quoted another imaginary McDonald's employee as saying.

"How many 'limited-time offers' can we make before we lose the trust of our loyal patrons?"

Parodying Smith's righteous tone, Wall Street Journal columnist Jason Gay penned a resignation letter for New York Knicks coach Mike D'Antoni, who did actually resign from the top-ranked US basketball team yesterday.

"Yes, look, I am sorry that I am upstaging the Goldman Sachs guy. I know he probably woke up feeling he was going to dominate the most-emailed list, only to get upstaged by me. What can I say? This is New York, pal," the letter read.

"But the Knicks have become too much about shortcuts and not enough about achievement. This doesn't feel right to me."

After Mr Smith's letter was published, some New York Times online readers were as critical of the former executive as he was of his employer, saying such epiphanies often occur after amassing vast amounts of wealth.

Reuters