MARK KANE will never forget March 12th, 2010. The father of four had left home with his partner Regina to pick their eldest son up from work when they received a phone call to say their daughter had not been collected from karate. They had asked their 15-year-old son Evan to collect his sister.
“I got a feeling there was something wrong, we shot up to the house,” says Mark.
He ran upstairs and found Evan dead in his room. His family has no idea why the fourth-year student at Collinstown Park Community College, Clondalkin, Dublin, took his own life.
“At the beginning it was . . . what is all this about? Why?”
“The family is just torn to bits. I’m going to bereavement counselling, all the family are going. It’s the only way we are going to get through,” says Mark.
“Evan was a great young fellow, he loved music, motorbikes, horses.”
“It is very hard, but we still talk about him. That’s a big thing in the family . . . everybody is encouraged to talk about him.”
Evan’s death took its toll on the whole community.
“We were affected, our wider families were affected. The death had a terrible effect on some of his friends.”
“We spoke to them afterwards and made sure everybody knew suicide was not the solution,” says Mr Kane, who adds that while great work has been done in the community, more counselling services for people affected by suicide are badly needed.
In a further blow one of Evan’s friends took his own life just over a year later.
The grieving father says any young people who have problems or difficulties should talk to someone.
“Suicide is not the answer. At the end of the day, no matter what happens there’s always someone you can talk to.”