Talking property

We're all cutting back, even the rich, says Isabel Morton

ONE HAS to wonder at the sudden deluge of mega-buck mansions on the market in affluent areas of D2, D4, D6 and south Co Dublin.

So far this year we have seen a dozen or so top level properties for sale, with prices ranging from €7 million to €75 million.

The recent launch of Walford on the market may have come as a surprise to many, as the Shrewsbury Road house was the talk of the town when it last sold in 2005 for a record price of €58 million.

It does strike me as odd that the rest of us mere mortals must accept the fact that our property is worth around 20 per cent less than it was in 2006.

Walford's vendor, however, sees fit to ask for an increase of almost 30 per cent (an extra €17 million) on its 2005 selling price.

Is this a sign that even the mega-rich are feeling the pinch and offloading some of their property portfolios? These large Dublin homes may have been the vendor's primary residences to date, but there is the suggestion that many may be packing their bags and leaving town for good.

Paying the high cost of living in Ireland was all very fine when we were creaming off the profits but the craic is not so mighty anymore and many of our top earners are seeking out new lives in tax-free havens.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. If we knew then what we know now, we may all have sold our homes in spring 2006, got rid of our petrol guzzling cars, cashed in stocks and shares and attened down the hatches.

If we had known the way things were going to go, we would not have invested a penny (I still find it hard to say "cent") in Irish property since 2005 and kept whatever savings we had tucked under the mattress.

Even the more comfortably off amongst us are deploying war time rationing and cutting back on little luxuries.

Dry cleaning businesses were one of the first to smell the impending economic downturn over two years ago, when we started sending less and less of our clothes to be professionally cleaned.

At home, the D4 staff hours have been severely reduced, but they still make sure to invite their girlfriends around to lunch on the one day per week the remaining staff are in situ. Employment is to be encouraged.

Housekeepers are again called cleaning ladies, nannies are child minders and landscapers are now just plain old gardeners.

The result is that both lawns and finger nails are looking a lot less manicured than usual.

Student babysitters are employed for nights out, (nannies charge far too much overtime) and large piles of ironing are left out to be done while they watch every one of your boxed set of Sex in the City DVDs.

When the children receive birthday presents, half of them are surreptitiously whipped away, labelled with details of where and whenst they came, then rewrapped and recycled for the next little friend's birthday party.

"Allowances" have been replaced with good old fashioned "pocket money" and the little darlings are actually having to earn it by cutting the lawn or putting out the bins.

Wives, mistresses and girlfriends are doing their bit for the cause. Longer gaps are being left between manicures, facials and hair appointments and designer swap shops are doing well, as ladies who lunch trade in their "twice seen in public" outfits for someone elses.

Personal trainers are being dismissed for the summer months.

Their toned and tanned clients have instead taken to walking the little legs off their designer Pugs and Bichon Frissees.

Small dents and scratches on cars are being ignored until they absolutely have to be resprayed, and trading in and upgrading is not being done with such enthusiastic frequency.

Interior fashionistas, who knew every name on the Farrow & Ball paint card off by heart, are now having to learn the Colortrend equivalents.

Monocrome modern minimalism is out and 1950s floral print comfy is in. Buying is crass, inheriting is everything.

Plans for big bash parties are being cancelled and weddings, significant birthdays and anniversaries are being conducted quietly abroad or "at home".

Lidl is suddenly becoming an acceptable place to shop. Lentils, beans, barley and stews are back on the menu and the children's allowance payment is no longer considered paltry.

Luxury villa rental on the Cote d'Azur is shelved this summer in favour of a "quiet" couple of weeks in mummy and daddy's old place in Marbella, even if that means tolerating your sister, her pompous husband and her nightmare children.

One must make little sacrifices throughout these difficult times.